Well today was the second time I tried to swallow it. I tried today instead of drinking it straight I put some juice and sugar into a glass and then added my poison. However, I couldn't do it. It wouldn't stay down. I swallowed and immediately after threw up. Dammit. Why does it have to be so damn hard? I don't have a job to get a gun. I don't know of a spot I can reach to use a noose. I just don't know. I know that its wrong. I know all the bullshit you all try to feed me. But what you don't know is I have to want to change before I can...