Laughing. Laughing. At my jokes. Screaming. Crying. Inside of me. Having fun, with my friends. Streams of tears drip down my heart. I smile, when I see you. You smile, when you see me. I bleed, when I see you. You smile, when you see me. Screaming. Crying. Inside. Laughing. Smiling. I wave to you.

Harsh words & violent blows Hidden secrets nobody knows Eyes are open, hands are fisted Deep inside I'm warped & twisted So many tricks & so many lies Too many whens & too many whys Nobody's special, nobody's gifted I'm just me, warped & twisted Sleeping awake & choking on a dream Listening loudly to a silent scream Call my mind, the number's unlisted Lost in someone so warped & twisted On my knees, alive but dead Look at the invisible blood I've bled I'm not gone, my mind has drifted Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow Today's just yesterday's tomorrow The sun died out, the ashes sifted I'm still here, warped & twisted

I get a funny feeling, it comes from deep inside. I get all mad and angry, wanting to go and hide. My doctor calls it depression, my dad says it's just me. But the thoughts and feelings, no one will ever be able to see. Some say I'm psycho, some say I'm just weird. It's like I'm a different person, and the old me just disappeared. I get really edgy, I want to commit suicide real bad. Then I get a headache, followed by feeling sad. I wish I could get help, I wish it would go away. Maybe if I keep praying real hard, it will some day.

A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift. A friend is someone we treasure for our friendship is a gift. A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace. And makes the whole world we live in a better and happier place.

well yeah my title is in love and my mood is heartbroken doesnt really match does it well here... i was in love with this guy named brett even though we only went out for liek a month it felt liek forever! and ever since then he got a new girlfriend, wont tlak to me, and I CANT STOP THINHKING ABOTU HIM!!! i hate it it drives me to where i cant live with it liek knowing tat he is out there fucking another girl jsut drives me crazy! and liek yeah i knwo that i need to get over him but i cant i was seriously in love wth him..and well now that i said the in love part here come that... my brother is saturnmoons adn he is my rock i mean i couldnt get through life if i didnt have him and when he goes to college i might die so i'm writing this now to get it out... my brother has been idk looking or lieking this girl ..... and he is the happyest guy in the entire world right now everyday we tlka bout ..... and how much he likes her adn the whoel time hes smileing and i have never seen him liek this and liek when he use to liek johanna he wasnt liek that so i dont think he likes her any more ..rite!???...well yeah and idk jsut want somethign liek that liek i'm one of those people who fall HARD for people and i guess you could say i'm a hopeless romantic i like when guys think abotu me and when they are not in it for the sex or anyhtign liek that and i jstu want that one person who is there adn i can run too and wont jsut turn away when his friends are there adn hold me when they arent... but yeah i'm done thats my love life

TEN FIRSTS First Best Friend: dont remeber First Screen Name: restless First Pet: a cat dont remeber name First Piercing: my ears.. only things peirced First Crush: brooks 3rd grade First CD Bought: idk First Car: only 14dont have permit yet First Love: brett First Stuffed Animal: dont remeber NINE LASTS Last Alchoholic Beverage: halfa can of miller Last Car Ride: this morning Last Movie Seen: show girls..last night Last Phone Call: ally Last Song Played: blood to bleed by rise against Last Bubble Bath: last year Last Time You Cried: yesterday Last time You Laughed: today Last Time You Fell: walking home from school but alex cought me EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: yes ruined everything Have You Ever Been Arrested: No Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Yes Have You Ever Been On TV: no Have You Ever Regreted a Kiss: no Have You Ever Lied: Yes Have You Ever Teased: yes SEVEN THINGS YOU ARE WEARING: 1. blue sweatshirt 2. slip on uggs 3. hollister jeans 4. white shirt 5. pink tank 6. beaded necklace 7. black thong SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY 1. Brushed my teeth 2. talk to friends 3. checked email 4. watched tv 5. wished i would havea chance with matt s. lol 6. thought about matt s. FIVE FAVORITE THINGS IN NO ORDER 1. Love 2. Movies 3. men 4. Music 5. People FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO 1. Ally 2. erin 3. my brother 4. matt Odom or Landon Baker THREE CHOICES 1. Hot or Cold: Hot 2. Black or White: Black 3. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: 1. find the one 2. have everything be okay or at least havemyself think it will be ONE THING YOU REGRET 1. thinking everything is horrible and me cutting myself

LOOKING IN THE MIRRIOR SHE SEES A PERSON SHE DOESN’T LIKE ITS EVERYTHING SHE HAS TRIED SO HARD NOT TO BE.. SHE THOUGHT SHE CHANGED THAT NEVER AGAIN WOULD SHE BE ABLE TO WILLINGLY HOLD A SHARP OBJECT TO HER SKIN AND PUSH…. EVERYTHING CHANGED WITH A LITTLE PUSH.. SHE TRIED SO HARD TO STOP IT WAS HARD TO BE HER AS THE GIRL LOOKED IN THE MARRIOR WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN HER FACE SHE ASK WHY CAN SHE BE THE PERSON SHE WANTS TO BE THE YOUNGE GIRL FAULT A HAND ON HER SHOULDRED SHE LOOKS UP IN THE MARRIOR TO SEE HER BEST FRIEND KIND OF SEE THROUGH BUT THERE. SHE THINKS THAT SHE SHOWED BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO HELP BUT SHE CAN’T SHES NOT REALLY THERE SHE ALWAYS LOVED ME AND TOLD ME SO BUT SINCE SHES GONE I ‘VE BECOME EVERYTHING I NEVER WANTED TO BE