Well I'm at work like usual.. Well I started talking with a girl I use to have alot of problems with. I started talking with her actually I think it was about the begining of last week.. Well over the weekend I actually asked her to come and hangout.. And you know how girls like that are they will sit there and throw excuses left and right about why they cant do something. Well she kept doing and I just decided to bust her out a little. So I said, "You keep coming up with excuses.. Why didn't you just tell me to begin with that you didn't want to hangout with me and john? I can see there's one thing that hasn't changed about you.. But that's okay I understand." After I sent her that text, she hasnt talked to me since. I just dont understand what was so bad about saying that? Does anyone know? But she blocked me on myspace and everything now. Talk about a touchy person.. I mean we used to be best friends.. Like inseperable.. I just dont understand how she can just treat me like that, when I honestly I didn't do anything wrong. I just called her shots that were being handed. People these days.. Im not perfect but who is? And lets see what else to talk about.. John should be starting his job in a week and a half!! Wooo whoo!! And my 18th birthday is in a week and a half!! 9 Days away. lol. Im having a candle party on sunday and I cant wait, my first Candle Party! How exciting!

Well the day so far is not too bad. Everything has just been going good today, except for a headache. I always feel like such of a complainer sometimes. There is always something that bothers me, or bugs me, or drives me insane. But today there isn't much which is quite alright. I used to be such a happy person and always so positave. But lately it just seems like negativity is always coming my way. Idk maybe it's just that time of my life or somethiing like that. But I dont really like it whatever it is... I have so much fun usually at work, I almost think it's the season for crabbyness with people and rudeness. Wheither it's me that's crabby or the people around me. But on the brighter side it's Wednesday and things don't seem too bad at all today. It's just a happy day. Which is sooooo nice! I don't exactly have anythin to talk about today. Im just hoping things go well and life and things start to look up. Im trying to keep myself on the brihter side as much as possible... But i just feel so bitchy all the time.. Idk what it is.. I think im going to look for some codes and what not to change my layout. That's always the fun part of creating a new Sitdiary. I love sitdiary.. I hope they stay around FOREVER! Well it's my lunch time and Im not feeling anything to eat at the moment.. So I think i'll just bum around for an hour and look for layout stuff... Oh yeah and I'll be 18 in 17days! Wooo WHOO! I feel like time is going by so fast already... Ever since Graduation.... And today is Mr. Preston's 18th Bday!!! SO HAPPY BIRTHdAY KUZZO! LUV Ya!

Well it's lunch. I'm definately bored. I was on the phone for the last half hour on hold (work related). Ugh did it suck. I just feel so drained and bored. Ugh but im also PMSing which doesn't help at all. I have a muscle in my neck that keeps acting up. It hurts when I breathe or move, or yawn. Urgghh... I feel like I have issues so many issues.. Blah blah blah that's another feeling... The crickets keep eating holes in my plastic bags.. Their the ones that I feed my gecko.. Not cool! The crickets keep dissapearing... Idk where their going but they think their going somewhere.. At least their not getting eaten.. lol... Wellllll.. that's it.

Today has been so far okay. Considering it is only 10:30am. :-) Well last night I had a talk with John. I agreed to give him two weeks to prove he is being responsible, respectful and able to hold a job, also to stop LYING. Which is easier said all of these things, than done for him. Obviously. Otherwise this stuff wouldn't have happened to begin with. I really dont have time to be writing... ill write later on lunch in an hour 1/2.

Well, some people can drive you udderly insane today. Just because it's so gloomy out and people just seem to be extremely crabby today. It's been a while since i've actually written in a diary, and I honestly think writing in a diary helps me work out my problems alot easier. I think the reason i've had so many issues with life and my attitude lately is because I haven't written in a diary in so long. I think the whole "online diary" really helps people. Just to express themselves to others weither they know someone or not. I think the internet diaries help people because they don't know the other people actually looking at their diary. And when you do get people you know looking at your diary, you start to get a wierd feeling, as if you've been violated and you dont have that private (secretive) feeling anymore. Well lately I've been at a down. So i've decided to create another diary. Hey and its making me feel better already. Just to get my thoughts out their and to type. Well anyways, lately me and John have been goin through some problems. John seems to think lying to me will help with keeping me off his back about getting a job and fixing his car, and doing the basic things he needs to do to get by in life. I mean yes, john does do some good things with himself. But the main responsibilities are what he's been missing lately. It seems me asking him to clean the house a little, to get a job, to stop acting so immature.... is way to much for me to be asking of him. But in reality.. He is going on 21 yrs old. this next year and he is working on getting a stable job just now. Well Friday I decided to move out after John lied to me about driving my car. He had been using the neighbor's car key to drive my vehicle and using a coat hanger to pry open the locks. Of course that's a MAJOR violation of my trust and I feel completely betrayed. He just doesn't seem to think anything he does bothers me or hurts me. I don't understand how guys can be so immature and not understand another person's feelings.. I just feel really depressed right now.. And i've always been the one to say Depression is only what you make it. But ive had that feeling, and Im feeling it now.

There's always a first, but there's never a last.