It seems so jr. high to write a blog about the person you are in "love" with. but regardless of my realization of that fact; I'm going to tell you about the light of my world, the words to my song, the exhale to my inhale, the steps to my dance..... the beat to my heart. His name is beau, and no he's not the first. he's not the first man i said 'i love you' to. he's not the first person i kissed. he's not the first boyfriend i've danced with. he's not the first boy who let me sleep in their bed. he's not even the first person who i said i wanted to spend my life with. but he is the first one i've meant all of those things with. i have always heard, you have to go through the wrong ones to appreciate the right one; and never once have i thought that was true, untill i fell head over heels for beau. With all of my exes it always seemed that there was a piece of the puzzle that just never fit quite right. With tyler- we dated, but lived 2 miles a way and had our relationship over the phone... it was jr.high and i didn't know a thing. haha now he's an amazing friend. with Jed, our relationship was based on rumors we had heard about each other, and no matter how much I talked, somebody would always talk louder... the entire relationship I was on the defensive. Right up to the end. Now just as friends I don't care who he flirts with, what he says about me, or what he did last week, and I'm sure the same goes for him. With Luke- I couldn't let my hair down. I felt so insecure and uncomfortable that I wasted all my energy on trying to compete with the ex. Now just as friends that isn't a problem, I don't have to compete with any ex-friends so it doesn't matter. With Brian- uhm, he never trusted me, then cheated on me, then beat the hell out of me... end of story. Notice all but one it works out so much better just to be friends? I love those two dearly, strictly as friends and I couldn't and wouldn't ever ask for more than their friendship. Well even during the duration of the relationship i always felt that... but not with Beau. There's no way I could just be his friend. I couldn't sit next to him and not hold his hand. I couldn't wake up and not see his face. I couldn't even call him & not end it with "I love you" so now your wondering? "where do cow tounges fit in? let me tell you the story of our first date. We were driving in the car and he asked me a simple, short question... "Have you ever had cow tounge?" Naturally I said no, and I never will, made a scene about how disgusting, unnatural and immoral that was. I thought thats where the conversation ended. Apparently I was wrong... Later on in the evening he asked if i liked mexican food? I said yes and we went to get a burrito. Beau ordered in Spanish and as an ASL student, I didn't know what he asked for, He told me he ordered a shredded beef burrito. We went up to the column (which is now "our secret spot") and had a very nice picnic where we sat and talked, and ate and enjoyed each others company. Once I finished my half of my burrito, beau, looked at me smiled and said "are you finished?" I nodded then he echoed with "want to know what you ate?" well he explained how he just fed me a cow tounge burrito and I...naturally vomited. Since that wasn't a normal first date; I soon realized that I may have gotten myself in over my head, and that date foreshadowed what the relationship would be like. Its unbelievable, unique, incredible, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally filling, and I am so in love with him, that I would eat cow tongue ever day if I had to. so thats the story of my love, gushy, vague and long... but I had to tell somebody =).