Okay, it's been quite some time since I posted on here. A TON has happened! Well, it's been half a year since I lost Riley. And, these past six months have made me think... Maybe, it's better off in a lot of ways that Riley didn't come into the world. I mean, things would have been so hard on the both of us, things would be tight, and Riley would have quite a hard childhood. My parents would have disowned me, as well as much of my family. And... things wouldn't be good. But, I do love and miss my baby Riley Quinn. And I always will. My ex boyfriend, Robbie, and I talked last night. And, we're going to spend some time together today. We admitted to eachother, that we miss eachother. So, I'm hoping for a miracle. :) Bobby and I are friends now. We get along really well. Who knows what'll happen in the future though? One of my very best friends, Teri. Whom I got into a huge fight with a few months ago; Moved. But, she's coming to visit on Thursday! I'm rahter excited. It'll be like old times. I miss her tons. Not much else is happening lately. Freshman years is going swimmingly. I suppose so. :D Goodbye

Listen to your heart-Roxette I know there's something in the wake of your smile. I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea. You've built a love but that love falls apart. Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. Listen to your heart when he's calling for you. Listen to your heart there's nothing else you can do. I don't know where you're going and I don't know why, but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye. Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile. The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea. They're swept away and nothing is what is seems, the feeling of belonging to your dreams. And there are voices that want to be heard. So much to mention but you can't find the words. The scent of magic, the beauty that's been when love was wilder than the wind. (the bolded stuff, is the parts that I can relate to...which is, most of it.) --------------------------- Bobby and I are not together right now. We are on a break, quite an extended break. And, it really hurts. But, I understand why he did it, and I love him for it. I love him for caring so much about me, and wanting to protect me. But, I miss him like crazy. I get to see him and give him hugs during school, and when I stick around for awhile after school. But, in reality, I don't really see him much. We talked on the phone for hours, three nights in a row, last weekend. And, it was just so absolutely wonderful. I loved it. But, yesterday I got pretty upset, and said some things I didn't mean to him. But, then, due to some weird circumstances, I got to talk to him alone. He let me cry on his shoulder. And, he talked me through everything. He told me that he loves me, but he doesn't feel comfortable saying it right now. And, that he doesn't feel comfortable kissing me either. But, he said that that doesn't mean that he doesn't still love me, or that he doesn't wish he could kiss me. And, stuff like that. He said, it's because we're broken up, and it just doesn't feel right. I guess that I can kind of see where he's coming from. But, it still kind of hurts. But, anyways, we sat in my mom's car, and I cried. And we just sat and look at eachother for quite some time. I could almost hear him thinking... That's how connected we are. We can talk to eachother, without even saying a word. And, I told him I love him, even though I knew he wouldn't say it back. I didn't care. Then, I reached for his hand, taking my chances at getting rejected. But, he held my hand. That made me feel better. And, just one of his fingers could be touching me, and I'd feel safe and secure. It's just...being with him. And seeing him, and being able to smell him... He told me that I can't let go of the past that we had together, and the future will come. He told me that he still wants forever, but forever hasn't started yet. He always knows what to say, to make my heart jump. Teri and I are fighting, right now. Her and I were both being bitches this last weekend. And, we got pissed at eachother. But, she just said some super cruel things. And, I got sick of being beat on, and getting made fun of. So, whatever. And, I feel sooo akward at school. Because, the whole group, hangs closely around Jacob and Teri. And, Teri give me dirty looks if I get within 10 feet. She laughs at me as she walks by. And, at moments, I really would like to strangle her. Grr... But, anyways. I started Freshman year. It's been almost a week... woo. And, yeah. I have really easy classes though. So, atleast B honor roll, here I come! hehe I talk to mainly older people. And, i'm completely fine with that. Because then, I'm pretty well protected. I'm not a 'stupid fucking freshman'. heh And, I have Bobby and Robbie looking out for me. And, I know that Jacob and Brad would still back me up if I got into trouble. I was sick today. Eck. I feel like shit. I'm not really sure what I have though. Stayed home from school today. Slept and played with Riley. Oh yeah, I got a hampster. I named him(or her it's too early to be able to really tell) Riley Fae. hehe Cute name, eh? But, I know that naming a hampster Riley, really isn't the greatest memorial. But, I'm planning to, at some point, do more for my baby. But, my hampster was born around the time that I lost Riley, so I thought it pretty fitting. But, I'm weird. So, that could explain it too. heh I'll love Bobby forever. I'll wait for him forever and a day if I must. I just hope that he'll be okay, and he'll get everything worked out, and be okay again. Then, we can be a happy couple again. :) Love always, Amelia

You are just filled with love! You eat, sleep andbreathe love. Now, that doesn't mean you'realways a happy cheery person, who doesn't thinkof anything else. You have your moments. Butyou know there is nothing more important in theworld then to love. The people who are loved byyou know it, because you aren't afraid to showit. You are the oppurtunity taker, because oncea chance has passed, you'll never get it back!You're an outgoing and blissful person, whowould loved to be loved like you love people.People who have you in their lives should begrateful. Don't change your outlook on life.You might have a greater impact on people thenyou realize. Motto; Love isn't put in your heart to stay. Loveisn't love 'till it's given away! Who are you inside? (detailed and yes, with pics!) brought to you by Quizilla

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ My little sister has a thing about taking pictures of me. So I was nice one day, and let her take a ton. This'd be one. My wonderful boyfriend and I. You're going to hear a lot about him, trust me. heh A pretty picture that I took awhile back. My cat, Snickers, and her fuzzy balls! These things are like her babies. She will go into the middle of the kitchen with one in her mouth, and meow on the same tone, over and over. And she'll do this until you take it from her, and put it in the cat bed. hehe

Please... don't let them send him away. He can't get sent away. Give him community service, sure. As long as you don't pull my baby away from me. Stupid fucking cops... stupid fucking construction work... Fuck. He won't get sent away, I just know he won't. He'll pay off the fines, slowly but surely. And, everything will be fine. I can't imagine going and visiting him at juvinile hall... is it like prison? Do they have to wear uniforms, and get strip searched, and talk to their loved ones through plexi-glass? Oh god... And, what if I am? What if this isn't just a missed period... How wonderful and mature would that sound? "Yeah, the father's in juvi." Wow... that doesn't sound like us at all! We are so much better than that. He's not a bad person, at all. He's amazing and abolutely wonderful. It wasn't his fault, either. Stupid fucking consturction... And, Brad, I wonder if he's okay? I really hope he is. And I really hope that Bobby doesn't get into any more trouble than he's already in. God dammit... No more fighting. Violence is so fucking stupid. I hate this town. I just want to take my love by the hand, and run as fast as we can. Just leave, and start new, together. God. I hate being whiney. But, this is my diary. So I can really whine all that I want. Today was gonna be the day they were throw it back to you. By now you should of realized what you got to do. I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do About you now. I love him with all of my heart and soul. He's perfect in my eyes. The beating of his heart, and his soft breath hitting my skin; can put me fast asleep. I love cuddling, and falling asleep with him. Waking up with him next to me is like nothing I could ever explain, nothing I've ever felt. And when he kisses me, even after 7 months, my heart still flutters, and my stomach still flips. heh He was my first real kiss. The first kiss that I actually felt. We love giggling together, and tickle fights. He likes messing around with me; making me mad, and then giggling, and kissing and tickling me. How could I stay mad at someone like that? His gorgeous blue eyes, and the look that appear in them when he looks at me. No one has ever given me a look like that before. Yes, I have other parts in my life that are very important to me. But, to me, he's most important. I could live without him, I have. I just... never want to. Never ever. He's so amazing. God...do I ever love my baby... my muffin... my sexy, sexy boy. hehe :) He's my 'the one', my 'perfect guy', 'mr. right'. Yep, mhmm, sure is. :D

Well, my name is Amelia. I've had a few diaries on here. But, I have been away from this site for quite some time. I met so many great people on here. And I hope to reunite with those people, and make tons of new friends. :) Okay, I should maybe tell a bit about myself, eh? Well, I live in a small town in Minnesota. It's got a mix of 'hicks', 'preps', gangsters, and 'goths'. I, myself, would be classified as a 'goth' or 'freak'. Yeah, I'm pretty weird, I giggle at the sight of blood, I'm morbid, I wear a lot of black and red, I'm not a christian, I wear pants with chains and loops on 'em; but none of that makes me a 'goth'. I just wish people in this town could understand that. Gah. heh But luckily, no one in my town will, most likely, ever find this diary. So I can pertty much say whatever! wee! Anyways, I have a wonderful, amazing boyfriend, Bobby. We're going on being together for 7 months. This Saturday will be our 7 month. I love him with all of my heart and soul, and I forever will. He's my savior, my love, my light, my dream come true. He means so much to me. I would give up my life for him, in an instant. I know that many will say that I'm 'too young to know what love is'. Not true. I sure as hell do. I have had conversations with married adults about the love that I feel for Bobby. And they've always told me that they were 'blown away' by how mayure I sound while talkig about it. I'm not exactly, completely sane either. I have an ongoing list of disorders and mental diseases. Great fun(*insert massive amount of sarcasm here*). Some that are, more embarassing than others. I just, would like to find some people on here that I can relate to, maybe. I'm a big believesr in magic, the wicca/pagan religion, faeries, dragons, elves, nymphs, all that good stuff. I love it all. I believe in wishing on shooting stars, faerie circles, blowing the 'fluffers' off of dandelions and making wishing. I'm actually quite childish, in my own innocent way. heh I love dancing in big feilds, and picking wildflower. I love dancing and standing out in the rain. Making out in the rain is great fun, too. hehe I'm not a virgin, and I'm not afraid to admit that on here. Yeah, I know I'll probably get a few 'slut' comments, if I even get any comments period. But, I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. We plan to be together for the rest of our lives, and even if we're aren't, I don't regret losing it to him(or, I like more, giving it to him). I wouldn't take it back, even if I could. I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have that. I'm just glad that this thing is 'secret'. Because, enough people in my town know already, no more need to know. heh But... not much else really to say, I don't think. Atleast, I don't think that there is. Well, I think I'll post of few pictures. :) Always, Mel