so basically today.. i found out that i am horribly failing econ.. i seriously hate this.. i try so hard to make the grade and the stupid teacher i found out NEVER entered any of the work i was doing.. and when i found the work that the whore didnt even put in the computer.. she told me it was too late.. i mean seriously.. i have been doing so many good things lately.. and i thought maybe for once that karma was going to come and actually do me some good for once.. i dont know.. im just going to give up on trying everything.. im tired of doing so much for people and not getting the same back.. everyone tells me about their problems with other stupid girls.. or how they cant seem to get with the person that they like.. how do they know that im not going through the same..? i have so much competition getting out of this shit hole... but i guess my fate was intended to be in pain and sorrow.. i only have like what 3 friends right now.. and its all because of stupid bitches that live out here.. i wish i was back home.. nothing is going good for me here.. id rather live in shitty ghetto ass Torrance than to live out here where everyone has a stick up their asses and all the guys here all they want to do is hook up.. but hey.. i guess thats my luck.. i get the rep. of a whore because on what others say and my past.. for once i just wish that someone would not look to me for a "good time".. seriously.. if you want to hang out with me because im a fun person to hang out with then fine.. ill hang out with you.. but im so tired of people expecting that im their answer to their god damn happiness.. seriously.. they think im the most fun to hang out with because im spontainious.. and always laughing at jokes.. and just so happy.. im not.. its just a cover up.. no one has seen me Truely happy.. i havent been truly happy in forever... but whatever.. hopefully friday will bring me to my full- extent of happiness.. and im just not just setting myself up for heartbreak...<3

haha so ya.. i just got introduced to this.. diary thingy.. haha i guess.. i say whats going on.. idk..? well ya.. i basically havent been a relationship... in like years.. ive hooked up with a lot of people.. but i guess i want to just settle down.. i mean im in my last 5 months of high school.. and i still havent found the long term high school relationship.. i mean i see everyone so happy with the opposit sex.. and its just like look what im missing out on.. i mean ive missed out on a couple of amazing guys.. but i dont know.. i guess im just not picky.. i just really want it to work... i dont want a week relationship.. or just a hook up.. i mean i guess that i just need to find the right guy... i dont know... this sucks.. really.. i havent talked to my dad since christmas.. i guess i dont really want to give him a second chance.. hes missed out on 7 years of my life.. and when he did live with me and the rest of my family.. he mentally felt that physically hurting me and my sister would i guess get the respect that he needed.. since my mom didnt give a damn about him.. and now hes trying to actually give a shit.. for once... i dont know.. i guess thats why i dont really have an emotional stable feeling when i like a guy.. cause im afraid.. im afriad im not good enough.. or not pretty enough.. or something is just wrong with me.. guys dont look at me as a potential girlfriend.. im just looked as the next hook up for the night.. i dont know.. i guess i just really want to find him... someone i can just open up to... cuddle on the weekends rather than go out and buy me material things.. if your out there.. let me know.. Auto...<3