haha so ya.. i just got introduced to this.. diary thingy.. haha i guess.. i say whats going on.. idk..? well ya.. i basically havent been a relationship... in like years.. ive hooked up with a lot of people.. but i guess i want to just settle down.. i mean im in my last 5 months of high school.. and i still havent found the long term high school relationship.. i mean i see everyone so happy with the opposit sex.. and its just like look what im missing out on.. i mean ive missed out on a couple of amazing guys.. but i dont know.. i guess im just not picky.. i just really want it to work... i dont want a week relationship.. or just a hook up.. i mean i guess that i just need to find the right guy... i dont know... this sucks.. really.. i havent talked to my dad since christmas.. i guess i dont really want to give him a second chance.. hes missed out on 7 years of my life.. and when he did live with me and the rest of my family.. he mentally felt that physically hurting me and my sister would i guess get the respect that he needed.. since my mom didnt give a damn about him.. and now hes trying to actually give a shit.. for once... i dont know.. i guess thats why i dont really have an emotional stable feeling when i like a guy.. cause im afraid.. im afriad im not good enough.. or not pretty enough.. or something is just wrong with me.. guys dont look at me as a potential girlfriend.. im just looked as the next hook up for the night.. i dont know.. i guess i just really want to find him... someone i can just open up to... cuddle on the weekends rather than go out and buy me material things.. if your out there.. let me know.. Auto...<3