and then I read the notes you wrote me in middle school.

"are you feelin' ok? you look like you don't feel good. =( "

and that's when i wanted to die all over again.

years and years later I've fucked everything up and now you hate me. all that built trust crumbled to dust. I want to die all over again.

how could i be so pathetic. i read the letters you wrote me after i moved here. all the i love you's.

i destroyed everything. i would kill myself if i knew it wouldn't hurt you more. damn myself to hell.