well today isn't going well at all. i have decided to make my new sn XxmiserablemistakexX. becuase thats how i feel inside. most ppl think that is doesnt bother me wen they call me a bitch or call me names. i no that my friends r joking wen they do it to me but it still hurts. they dont realize that im crying inside. no one nos tht i am. everyone thinks that its funny to call me stupid and shit like that but its not it hurts a lot. right now im pissed because my parents think that im not good enough. they say that i can be better but they always say that im stupid and that i wont be able to do w/e i want to do. they want me to go to college and be just like my sister but im not going to be like her. m and her are two different ppl ad they dont realize it. even my sister wants me to be like her. its annoying wen ppl want u to be like someone eles. it makes me feel like im not good enough for this family. my parents have no clue how i feel but sooner or later they are going to find out. its gay. i just want somone to love me and let me be me. i hope i find that someone because im breaking inside. i want someone who will love me for who i am and not care wat i do in life. i want someone there who will support me in w/e i do in life. theres a lot more i want to say but idk how to. so heres a poem that i wrote: Trapped by: becky I'm trapped in a dark box The lid is locked tight I can seem to get out No matter how hard i fight They stand over me Watching and laughing But never knowing How much I'm hurting They think it's funny To fuck with my head They find it fun To make me wish I was dead They are supposed to love Family they are called But they fail to see That this is just me They say I'm a freak And going nowhere in life But what they dont know Is I'm contemplating the knife Maybe someday they'll know I could help them see They can't control my life This is just me.