We had a good night out last night. I think I was way too drunk really but hey, the pictures are (mostly) okay and not too incriminating. I did fall on my bum at one point though and I was extremely surprised and not really sure how I got there. I'm also really curious about how I didn't get home until four in the morning because we didn't even hang about after closing. Perhaps Paul is starting to make more money now and so is staying open later: until people start to drift home. I've realised why I need a diary as a space to think. I've remembered why it helps me to write things down that are bothering me. No matter how personal or stupid I know they are it helps to air them out somewhere neat and tidy and contained like a blog site and put the words in my head down somewhere. It stops me from repeating the same thoughts endlessly: once I've expressed what I'm worrying about or fearing, I can find some kind of way to draw a line under it. So I have to keep this quiet and maybe I will tell Jak about it once we get to uni just so that I'm not always sneaking around. I want to start being more creative and spending time on what I'm interested in. I also need to start doing some exercise. I need to tone up my (admittedly pretty skinny) thighs and bum so that I can console myself with that when I despair about having no tits. Plus it would be nice to be fitter and not feel like such a waste of space every time I walk up to the fourth floor in the library with a dozen hardbacks. Luckily I should have plenty of time this summer. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~