I am a roller coaster of moods today. I wake up at 7:30ish for class, too exhausted to feel anything but my fatigue. Go to class, freeze my ass off there and on the way back. I'm tired, grumpy and hungry. Get back to the room, eat breakfast and talk online @ the same time. Find out horrible news, car crash related. Someone is dead in a car of a kid I used to date, who's in critical condition himself along with another passenger.. Fabulous. So now I'm panicky/want to cry/mad at him for being so stupid/happy that he's still alive/worried for him and the court details which will presumable follow his recovery, and feel terrible for my friends who were close with the girl who died. Great. Stumble back into the room after notifying home of the accident. Shake/break down in the arms of the equestrian roomie. I realize I'm so lucky and that my roomies are fabulous. Go to class again in the afternoon. Overwhelmed with boredom. Come back to the dorm. Nothing to do for a while except a little Spanish homework. Dinner with the girls. I'm indifferent. 6:30 volunteer meeting. Short & sweet. A little excited about it starting up. Gilmore Girls at 8. Pissed cause I can't watch the end. RUCKUS Step Squad First Meeting at 9. FANTASTIC. Totally confusing and a lot of work and a wicked good workout, but SO much fun. All the girls are really nice. I'm def. in for the season. We get uniforms and do shows at basketball games and other places. Sweet deal. I've never done anything like it and I'm already like, in love with it. My energy level is at a level it hasn't seen in a LONG time. So is my happiness. Wing up back at the room around 11:15. Talk to someone for 5 minutes and get almost immediately become really angry/confused/hurt/let down/mostly disappointed. Secrets suck. How does somehting like that happen and you just "forget" to tell your "best friend" about it? Something there isn't right. Take a shower out of frustration. Get soap in my eyes. I'm livid at myself for being upset at all. Come back to check messages, and the person is gone and is all upset at me. WONDERFUL. Why do I suck? Any ideas? :- Now?