fuck EVERYONE in my family

Listening to: nothing
Feeling: depressed

so..my "mom" is a fuckin lier..i come home after 7 months in a group home without the bullshit/abuse and all that shit to help her with my dad...she agree for me to have my room back or atlest put a bed in the bastment or something for me to have a room...3 months later[[aka today]] i have no room,bed or anything i have been sleeping on my beds hosptal bed for the longest time....and now to find out he is comming home and i have no room to sleep in....my mom tells me to sleep on the sofa,and when i do sleep on that i cant..and the dogs sleep on it too....its soo fuckin funny that she thinks i have a shit load of money in my bank to find or rent a room someware..or live with riley and i have tryed but his rents say no...so i am fucked i am soo tired of crying anymore...im tried that i get treated like shit 24/7 i am tried of not been happy befor i movied back home i fuckin had a great life on my own..i was fuckin HAPPY..i even laughed and smiled and that was not the jussi everyone used to kno it was the new me..now its like suicide thoughts are back...and i have nto told anyone...cuz i dont want to be hosptalized...and mom is seeing my old threapst with is not allowed..but she does not care so i tol alexis my kick ass threapst who see the shit i go threw every fuckin day...and she is the only one that belives me..cuz somehow my mom has everyone under her lies and spells...of jussi abuse me...and she NEEDS to be on meds...and i want her kicked the fuck out of the house.."dont get me worng i lover her..." fuck that shit if she loved me she would look in the morror and see that she is the one why i act the way i do anymore when i am in this house....she says all this shit about me or gonna help me get my prement and a car and that was another lie...i DID have a job but she got a job were i work and made a fool out of me by telling everyone about my socil issuse and trying to tlak for me when i AM 19 and need to get over this fear....idk wat to do..i feel like i am gonna put a tent in my back yerd and camp out untill job core picks up and takes me away from this hell..the only bad things..i will be lik ean hour away from riley an dwhen i can come home for weekends..where am i gonna stay...i wish someone would see wat i deal with everyday...i hate being disowned but look at me i was the first to grad,i am going to collage,,i dont smoke or drink...nor do drugs..and yet my brother do all that shit and they get more resepet then i do.....oh and she dose not even care that when she or anyone smokes around me it is very hard for me to breath and when the boy smoke weed up in there rooms i can smell it down stairs and she says i am lieing...i just want my own room...someware i can hide..and be alone...where i can have riley over of a chance of place...when i say i HATE my life i do....

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