so when do you know when you really love someone? i know i love this someone and i am not really usre he feels the same. some of the things he says to me make me feel like he doesnt care. i know he does but it just doesnt feel right. my whole body hurts thanks to my new work out shit. i only have to do this twice a week but its a killer.. i go mondays and fridays... but this friday was even worse cuz i ran laps in gym and was sore from that. anyways.. i dunno what else ot say

um.. yeah... im the worst.. i cheated and lied and now i'm confused. i have met the man of m y dreams and have never felt better aoubt my choices with him. he makes me complete in ways i never imagined and well i had to cheat to get him. see when him and i started hanging out i had a boyfriend.. and at first we kept it a casual i hug you you hug me back sort of thing but things got better.. and i let myself get into the game of him and i.. and now we have been together for almost three months and its beren the best few months of my god forsaken life. i love this kid and well thats really all that matters to us

im bad.. sooo bad.. i do alot of things i shouldnt and thats about all i have ot say

my granpa was sent to the hospital around 11.. it sux too cuz we dont think he is going to make it this time. i just need a friend.. i cant deal with this now.. not today at least. i miss him even tho i dont know whats going on. i dont think i coudl handle losing him

LilTyka408: hi Hdbngr101A: HEY SWEETHART! :-* LilTyka408: please dont ever call me that Hdbngr101A: OK SEXY :-* LilTyka408: ryab stop LilTyka408: ryan* Hdbngr101A: BUT BUT BUT I LOVE YOU BABY!!!!!! LilTyka408: no dont even try Hdbngr101A: I LOVE YOU!!!!!!! LilTyka408: i dont care

when do you know enough is enough? i mean is it when you run out of things to say or when the person you like.. is just being a jerk to you. when are you suppose to get the hint.. that NOTHING is ever going to happen.

i lie low.. lying low.. to .. life.. a life of nothingness. i just dont get it.. i push foir things to happen.. and when they happen they all fall apart...

fjnvckxzl;.cnkxl.. kind of how i feel

i hate fucking teachers!!! my algebra teacher said i was doing fin ein her class.. and i end up with a flippin D.. my gym teacher total asshole.. i have a C in fucking GYM CLASS!!

ok so some one needs to help me find a new background.. that would be loverly!!! anyways.. i love him what can i say!

yeah well.. liking one guy has made me want him even more than the boy who is supposedly my "boyfriend". im trying to remember why i said yes and why i said i wouldnt fall for the one i want.. what was i thinking?

i feel silly.. maybe there was some rum or some sort of alcohol in my kool aid.. i doubt i.. but i feel drunk... yet coherant.. or however you spell it alright.. roman's 2005... showed my mad bball skills off to the boys.. made them feel like jerks.. hung out with my "first" boyfriend, coltan.. good kid.. liked him alot..no like best friends.. CRAZY! hbny.. ok.. temporary mind slurge.

ok.. im almost done with exams... i get to leave early tomorrow.. i only have to take one exam.. biology.. then wednesday i get out at 1030 cuz i have english and algebra! they are going good. attached to two people.. how so?

where do i get a different background.. i need one badly!!!

i have learned of the course of maybe two days.. i have grown to like people and become very attached. scary to think i am like that cuz i never thought i would be. but seeing as how i am i have become attached to two people... how you ask.. its a matter of actually spending time or even talking to these people.

SCHOOLS ALMOST OUT!! ok.. one key word.. ALMOST! so yeah.. jhosh has been home for a week..only talked to him once for like five minutes.. but thats ok..

ok.. so this past weekend has been nothing but fun.. yesterday and this morning ecspecially.. ok.. well it all started off of course me getting oooberly bored and runningoff with people ik to do something else.. mini golf with my teammate zach, eric, and dennis.. hilarious.. i won.. well zach and i won.. it was funny.. then when we were done dennis and i had started our friendship.. it was funny because you had to be there to understand.. but then NONI came and tried to rip us apart adn well.. i got some nice bruises on my left arm.. but hey.. she was high on love, what can i do about that... then we all went to look for my mom and saw her drive away.. it made all of us mad because the night before my sister didnt get us till like 1215.. but anywahys.. so we had to walk, run, bike, peg.. whatever we could do to get home.. we made it.. we all went to my house cuz it was closest and the boys wanted potatoes.. so yeah they came and ate potatoes.. eric and dennis were like half asleep when zach decided he wanted to go to eric's house.. no idea what was going through his mind but it was like 3 in the morning. my mom took em home and i have zach's shirt.. so i have to give it back.. he smells hella good but yeah.. and now i want to go today too but im having a hard time gettign around my dad... but oh well

the wimpers of my so called life have grown to full out tears.. my sister has once again taken what i need away from me.. but hey its just the price i have to pay to live in her shadow.. cuz i guess thats what i am.. her shadow.. even tho im nothing like her and yeah we may "look" the same and yeah we may have the same parents.. that doesnt mean she has the right to have me under her forever.. im just so sick of doing this i wish she would fall off the face of the earth and let me do what i want instead of rubbing it in my face that she got what i wanted.. like yesterday audition for JOHN ROBERT POWERS.. she gets the call back i dont. it irks me to think that she was over the top in her screen test and that she was over the top in her interview.. but that isnt fair the way she ALWAYS gets the thing that i want most. she steals my thunder adn then rubs it in my face! she is one of three she has a chance to be on a national tv program while im stuck here sitting on my ass waiting for my "second chance" to come along.. i am never gonna be able to do anything with JRP until i change my name die my hair and lose like a million pounds.. ok.. so im not so happy aobut it.. i have a right to be pissed.. so there fore i am not a happy camper today. josh comes home today! dont get to see him but ik he is home.. YAAAAAAAY! NONI turns the big 15 and im soo happy cuz she is my buddy

ok.. so i dont kno where to find all this crap for biology so i have little bits and pieces. im working on biomes of the world.. and my biome is the deciduous forests... woo hoo! i gave an oral presentation yestrday. on teens and drugs.. and i started out by saying i did drugs.. stupid mistake...but hey i did an ok job on my report. josh comes home tomorrow.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! i cant wait.. i hope i get to see him this weekend.. cuz im just so sick of being alone...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!! we lost in regional.. but thats ok.. im ok.. i mean i have three more years.. i got my buddy lindsey to cry.. i didnt think it could be done but i did it.. it felt good to know that i made a friend i can count on rather then a friend who will stab me in the back.. also its sad to say.. she is leaving for college.. and i prolly wont see her for a LOOOOONG time.. its ok tho.. we'll keep in touch i hope... josh comes homes this weekend.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! im like falling apart with out him here.. its like i cant function straight.. i .. i just cant imagine life without him wether it was us being friends or us being together.. where would i be if never met him? imean i never met him until 8th grade adn thats cuz he was really good friends with some of my friends so yeah.. what if i never would have transferred to MGC? what would life be like with out ever meeting him? i figured it out.. it wouldnt be life at all because otherwise i would prolly be some kind of hoe waiting for the next sex mate to come along and get paid for having sex wiht the world... ok a little too dramatice but all in the same.. i would be nothing.. school.. i have like ten days of actual school the last like four days are exam days and well i personally dont give a rip about em cuz i can exempt one or two of them. hopefully i'll do bettter this mark perios cuz i am NOT going to SJA... i wont flippin do it.