the wimpers of my so called life have grown to full out tears.. my sister has once again taken what i need away from me.. but hey its just the price i have to pay to live in her shadow.. cuz i guess thats what i am.. her shadow.. even tho im nothing like her and yeah we may "look" the same and yeah we may have the same parents.. that doesnt mean she has the right to have me under her forever.. im just so sick of doing this i wish she would fall off the face of the earth and let me do what i want instead of rubbing it in my face that she got what i wanted.. like yesterday audition for JOHN ROBERT POWERS.. she gets the call back i dont. it irks me to think that she was over the top in her screen test and that she was over the top in her interview.. but that isnt fair the way she ALWAYS gets the thing that i want most. she steals my thunder adn then rubs it in my face! she is one of three she has a chance to be on a national tv program while im stuck here sitting on my ass waiting for my "second chance" to come along.. i am never gonna be able to do anything with JRP until i change my name die my hair and lose like a million pounds.. ok.. so im not so happy aobut it.. i have a right to be pissed.. so there fore i am not a happy camper today. josh comes home today! dont get to see him but ik he is home.. YAAAAAAAY! NONI turns the big 15 and im soo happy cuz she is my buddy