watchin the new britney video. damn i dont care if she shaved off her hair she is still hot! especially with as all these different women in womanizer! yeh you know you would ....

hello dear's. so i think its pretty muh over with me and jay. Im pleased but kinda sad for him at the same time. Rosie stayed over again last night and gave us a good ruttin!! She seems to be gettin a bit too close for comfort though and i can just see it in her that she wants more than what she is gettin where as i dont. will have to break it to her gently anyways bye peeps x

hello. does anyone remember a girl on here called suicidalscars? if so do you know if she has a new diary or owt cos im lookin to speak to her. aint talked for years. cheers all x x

So I slept with one of my longest friends last night. It just kind of happened...... But it was fantastic. I feel terrible this morning but somewhere inside im so glad that it happened. I wish I could take you all there so you know how it felt. I mean.....Damn she has done that before! got 4 scratches down my back today. So im gonna have to think of something to say to jay. Fuck ps. does anyone know where all of the old school diaries have gone? I used to have one on here about 3 years ago.

Hello all! So this is my first diary entry ( I hope someone reads it! haha) The main reason I have decided to make this diary is because im having a major head fuck at the moment and was hoping that someone might be able to help me. I think I might be gay. Its nothing new. Its been with me for a long time now. The first time I ever slept with somebody I was 14 years old and I had my first partner. A girl called Natalie. She was beautiful and the first time we slept together it was on my living room floor and it was mind blowing! I will never forget it. Me and natalie stayed together for 6 months until she started taking alot of drugs and we had to end the relationship. The next time I was with somebody it was a lovely girl named millie. I was 16 at this point. and it never crossed my mind that I might be a lesbian i just kind of went with it. I didnt exactly hide my feelings but I never thought about them.It was just normal for me. After a very adventurous year with millie we went our seperate ways and I was alone once more to ponder my feelings about girls. I began pushing these feelings aside and had sex for the first time with a guy. I must say I quite enjoyed it, but it could never compare to previous liasons!! Ever since then I have only been with guys and pretended to enjoy it. I got into a relationship with my partner now Jay. We have been together for 3 years and although I love him, im not IN love with him and I still have very strong feelings for girls. I cheated on Jay about 3 months ago with a girl that I was working with at the time called sian. We had fantastic sex in a rented hotel room and I totaly regret this. Jay has been such a wonderful partner to me and he would do anything for me. I want to be with a woman but I cant break his heart. I know how much he cares for and loves me. I feel that I just want to forget these feelings that I have for women but I dream about it, I think about it all the time. Its who I am deep inside and I know this. Its killing me to keep this a secret.