Sometimes I don't think I'm going anywhere in life. True, I have a plan. True, it's going to take time to fufill said plan, but what about the here and now? I feel like I'm falling into that nasty pattern of 'work, sleep, get ready for work, rinse, repeat' that I always told myself I'd avoid at all costs. It's never been anything I wanted to find myself doing - ever. And yet here I am. Working 40 hours a week in a job I just can't seem to force myself to enjoy; with a bunch of people who treat me as an instrument rather than a person. Yes, the pay is good. Yes, it means I'll have insurance after a crazy interim without it. But what's the point if you're not happy? And that's a big thing for me - why do it if you can't be happy at the same time? So you can be happy in the future? Okay, that's a reason. And then your future self will have nothing to look back on but bad memories of a time when you couldn't stand what you did for a living? How healthy is that? Maybe I'm just being childish, not letting go of that kindergarten ideal that you'll get to be what you always wanted to be 'when you grow up'. Maybe so. Is it the 'adult' thing to do - keeping a job that makes you miserable; just sucking it up and moving onward? I don't want to grow up..... I'm a Toys 'R Us kid.