good morning, i miss this website. i don't know what made it pop into my mind, but i even got my old name back. i'm loving that. a totally different person.. a girl with drive &responsibility. im happy about these things to say the least. no more manic highs +lows. but do i no longer have the capacity to be so in love? my boyfriend, i love you.. but i do not know if i'm in love with you. i don't feel that waking on clouds, happiest girl in the world, love with you anymore. we are good for each other, i agree- but it's not what i want. i want to be in it. i want to be push up against a wall for no reason at all. i want to have something to look forward to. I WANT BUTTERFLIES. i want to hang with my boy, my boys, and my girls-but you'd never want to. i want surprises. i want smiles. i don't want to keep secrets from you. --i occasionally smoke cigarettes, &i'll always love getting high. so kill me-- i'm not sure how much longer this will last. that hurts more than you'll ever know. coming from a girl with no regrets, i'd always regret letting you go.. if it comes to that. xo.k