haven't been here for a really really really long time but people know about my other one and I think I want something that people I know don't know about. I'll just get right to it. I think I'm in love or something like that. Either love or hate or guiltyness. I hope it's the former. I'm pretty sure I'm just scared. That's why I do the mean things that I do and say mean things about him and all of that junk. JUNK that's some shit I would never mess around with. possibly speed but that'd be pretty fucking retarded....or maybe well nevermind but I think that maybe I should tell him that he can do shit like that but not alone and nothing new unless I'm around so that it wouldn't be so sad and instead it'd be like a semi-social thing to do since I'd be with him. But then he might think I've suddenly dropped all my morals and he's corrupting me too much. No more repect for standing up for what I think and saying no. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Maybe he'd be happy I finally want to join his side. Besides. I'm not going to die. that's what everyone says.... before they do actually die.