we are the pirates who don't do anything we just stay at home, and lie around and if you ask us, to do anything we'll just tell you, we don't do anything well I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver and I've never buried treasure in ST Louie or ST Paul and I've never been to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa and I've never been to Boston in the fall we are the pirates who don't do anything we just stay at home, and lie around and if you ask us, to do anything we'll just tell you, we don't do anything and I've never hoist the main sail and I've never swabbed the poop deck and I've never veered starboard, cause I've never sailed at all and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a parrot. and I've never been to Boston in the fall we are the pirates who don't do anything we just stay at home, and lie around and if you ask us, to do anything we'll just tell you, we don't do anything I've never plucked a rooster and I am not too good at ping-pong and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall and I've never kissed a chipmunk, and I've never gotten head lice and I have never been to Boston in the fall (pirate captains log 2002 who be this band relient k and why they be so full of contradictions) we don't know what he did but we're down with captain kidd we don't wake up before lunch but we all eat captain crunch we don't smoke, we don't chew we watch captain kangaroo and I've never licked a spark-plug and I've never sniffed a stink bug and I've never painted Daisies on a big red rubber ball and I've never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings and I've never been to Boston in the fall we are the pirates who don't do anything we just stay at home, and lie around and if you ask us, to do anything we'll just tell you, we don't do anything we are the pirates who don't do anything we just stay at home, and lie around and if you ask us, to do anything we'll just tell you, we don't do anything