If you want to add me on myspace and LJ. http://www.myspace.com/xmansonettex http://www.xmansonettex.livejournal.com Once this site is fixed Ill be back. ♥

I love this diary website I want it to be all better right now! lol. Im a dork. But i cant wait for it to be all better (:

I haven't been here in a while. Since it hasn't been working very well. But now I am back (: My mom is a cunt and she hasn't let me leave the house in two monthes.

I reaaalllly wanna re-do my SD. But until it's all fixed I cannot : P I have a feeling that someone I know is dead. I don't know where the feeling came from but it's there. http://www.myspace.com/xmansonettex Add me, and tell me you are from SD. I wanna talk to the people on here again. I want it to be back the way it was, because I miss commenting all of my friends on here. So add my on myspace or e-mail me (coma_princess@yahoo.com) because I miss you all.

I am so hyper. Like so much full of energy. And I haven't slept in over 24 hours. I need to re-do my VF. Maybe I should actually put a pic on myself on here. But that's what VF and myspace are for lol. I am such an insomniac.

Talking to him makes me so happy. The last day of school is tomorrow. Good or bad thing...I don't know...

Chris is an asshole. I am in pain. Allergic reaction to peanut butter. I wish Rick would get back online. I am pissed off. I am tired. I am lonly. I am off to shower and attempt sleep. ♥

Woot Woot It's my 15th birthday : D I had a great day (: ♥

Just...SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID SKANK. I HATE YOUR DAMN GUTS. FUCK YOU AND GOODBYE. I am sick. I am nearing unhappy time. I am lonely. I am sad. I am depressed. I am pissed off. My leg hurts like a bitch. I am aggravated. And my birthday is on Monday. I hope all of this hell goes away by then. I am supposed to be happy but not when I feel so sick and miserable and everyone is being mean to me. My birthday isn't special anyway. Not like anybody is gonna remember. Everyone decided that today was "make Katie feel like unloved garbage" day. Fuck you all. I feel so fat ): and I wish that my mother would just take me to the damn docter because it's fucking impossible for me to lose weight. But she continues to say 'there is nothing wrong with you." and then later when she is pissed at me she calls me a fat cunt bitch whatever. I hate her. I hate myself for the stupid stuff I've done. I wish I could forget but I can't. I think I have a psychological disorder. I am a complete bitch. I hate myself for the way I think. I am so mean and bitchy. That is probably why I have no friends. I overeact alot. I piss people off. I hate myself. I am suck a greedy maneavolent bitch. I really wish I wasn't but if I'm not then I don't feel right. I am going too far with my bad thoughts, they are making me sick. I am gonna end up seriously hurting myself or somebody else really bad one day, emotionally. In five years I can see myself in a coffin. One day I am going to piss off somebody so bad they are going to try to kill me. I hate everyone, besides a few who have actually taken the shit I dish out daily. I wish that I could get my way...just once. I wish that I didn't emotionally attach myself so easily. I wish I had somebody here to love me, who'll call me when I look sad at school or something and ask me if I'm ok. Maybe it's because of my parents. Or maybe I am just some test dummy for hate. The former seems like it's true but...I don't know. I am deeply confused about life. I am on the road to failure. I wish I had a life. I wish that he loved me. I wish I didn't have to put up with plastic people every day. I don't give a fuck if you aren't here. I think I need psysical love. Not sex necisesarely. Just somebody to hug me every day. Internet love can only go so far. I need to get out of here. I cry too much. I hate myself. I hate it when my mother cleans and touches all of my stuff. No one will ever know how much I fucking hate that, and how much it makes me want to die. I am making myself sick with how depressed I am. And my mother doesn't help. I have extremly low self esteem. Extremly. Low. I am low. I am nothing. I don't matter. I am a waste of life. I am a waste of space. I am a waste. In a wasteland. And it's hurting so bad. I hate how everyone thinks that they are so damn cool and say that they are so fucking different. Fuck you. We are all fucking human beings. So shut the fuck up and get on with your life. I don't give a fuck. Most likly there is another clone of you walking around somehwere fucker. Originality was out years ago. I can like Marilyn Manson and Fall Out Boy. Suck it if you think I am a poser. I have CD's from both of them, you worthless fuckers. I hate myself. I am a hypocrite. Don't tell me I'm pretty, it's a lie. Everything is a lie. I hate lies. I hate how everybody gets a boy or girlfriend as a vanity piece. What the fuck happened to love? I hate fucking sluts. Get some self respect. I hate it when people change the subject. I hate it when people whine when they acn do stuff about what they are whining about. I want my necklace fixed. I'll buy a damn new one. Problem solved. So shut the fuck up. I don't think I know what I am talking about. I am very unintelligent. I wish I would wake up in someone elses shoes. Someone who has somebody who loves them. I've never had anyone really care about me before. Not enough to do anything special for me or anything. I hate myself. Nobody is even gonna read this. I don't know why she gets all the damn attention. I want attention from someone who won't give it to me, and I cry about it. I hate myself. I am such a loser. You have no fucking idea how much it hurts. Every fucking day. I hate the word faggot. I. HATE. II. Don't use it. It's disgustingm, unless your going to say how much you ahte it. I wish that someone would go out of there way for me. I wish that when I am depressed, people will stop fooling around and acting like an idiot to make me happy. I really wish someone could help me. I need professional help. I can't survive until I am 18. I can't. Can't. I sound insane. I am insane. I wish there was that one damn person. I want your attention, can't you see? They probably have no clue...always. I mean nothing. Nobody would cry if I died. No body would feel bad about how much they hurt me. They would fake it. I hate fakers. But sometimes I have to be one, put on my "hi im katie and i am such a sweet perfect girl who isnt fucked up" face. As long as it makes my mother shut her fucking mouth for once. I wish that I could just stop thinking. Maybe I'll become a drug addict. So they can say the drugs killed me. That won't be true. Nothing is ever true. Not for me. True love. Hahaha. True friends. Yep, thats why they fucking lie to me. Nobody gives a fuck. At all. And I wish someone would take me away. I don't value my life in any way. And that is very sad. I am a sad persn. Depressing. Not right in the head. So I shouldn't expect to find anyone who will love me or give a fuck about me. I'll just be a bitch and hurt them. I am going to die alone. But I am used to that idea. Even though it hurts really bad. You say it'll change. Hasn't changed in alost 15 yaers. What makes you think it is anytime soon? I hate myself. I am jealous. I am naive. I am really stupid. I can't help anyone. I found out yesterday that me being so depressed caused another person to cut themself over me. Tha meade me die on the inside. I am completly dead on the inside. Does anybody know how said that person makes me. I don't think so. Is it much to ask, to not be alone. I guess it is. I tried. I failed. End of story. "And at such a young age too, such a shame." Well fuck me I don't care. I want to be happy. I have never felt happiness. Well, I have, but it only lasts for about half a day. And then it gets crushed. I am asking for a perfect day. A life changing day. That will make me a better person somehow. I am so fucked up. I really wish I wasn't. I am really forgetful. I really wish I wasn't. I wish I wasn' anything. Jus nothing. Exactly like the way I feel. I am a cold, heartless bicth. I am selfish. I hate myself for all of this. It makes my head spin. It makes me sick. I am so tired. I just want to sleep and wake up in a happy place. I need to calm down. I am going to break the I key if I keep on usng it. I don't give a fuck. CARE ABOUT ME. Please? That is all that I want. Is that so much to ask for? I guess so. I hope you know how much you make me sick. Godamit. Just shut up. I wish that I would stop thinking. I need to get out more. But you don't understand. That I CANNOT, under the circumstances I am in. Stop caring about yuorself all the damn time, care about me. Thats all I want. I am always helping other people and I get the same shit answer each time. Well fuck you then. I am a hypocrite. I am pessimistic. I am unlovable. I am nothing. Don't even begin...what you'll say is something I've heard millions of other times. I need someone who is here. Right now. Got it? Good. Now go fuck yourself. My heart is black. I am sick of feeling so terrible all the time. I need, that person. They probably do not know who they are. But I need them. They make me complete. And I really need that. The only thing that you can do to help is get me the fuck out of here. Otherwise, don't waste your time on me. And stop lying to me. STOP IT. I know you are faking. So why can't the world just stop making me so sick and miserable. I don't know and you don't either. Not like anyone cares but. Yeah.

I'm in Spanish now. Pweeeee lol. I am bored. I am a dork lol. Bye homies.

Hi. lol. I am bored out of my mind. I want my Sam Candy : D So since Sam is the only one to read my diary... *leaps on her* Hahaha. Well, nothing else going on... *humphump* ♥

I painted my nails black. And I got some new clothes. Weeee! This week is going pretty well. I HEART SAM! ME HER AND BOB ARE GOING TO RULE THE WORLD ONE DAY SO BE NICE TO US!

I got MSN now (: And I passed my stupid essay (: And Sam and me are trampbuddies :D

Today was one of those days when everything goes wrong all at once.

Well...i kind of told the one guy...that I you know...liked him...waiting for response...Also I think a different guy might like me. Or it could all just be in my head.

Brett wrote his name on my arm today so I could find his myspace, and he gave me his cell number. I am a geek lol.

But aren't I always? Weekend and nothing to do :P

I didn't go to school today because I went to get an assesment at the math tutor place. All the people who work there are fake. But then afterwords I got to go to the mall. I bought a From First To Last shirt, guitar hair clips, and a Wiccan necklace. Then in the car on the way home I took a pretty good picture of myself. You can see it at VF or myspace. I'm xmansonettex on both (:

don't click this link...

Five days off and absolutly nothing to do. Maybe I'll invite Jessie over.