i haven't been here in ages! well what can i say relationships are so complicated but henry and i have lasted for such a long time. it's been almost 9 months. Almost. I think it's normal what we're going through but heck its tough. I don't even know if i want to have sex at the moment...I'm not sure if i'm ready. And we both feel like there's something empty in our relationship, i wonder what it is. I just don't get it. I love him, i dont know about him, he says he does but he's still confused. He's been confused for a long time... I feel furious back when we broke up for a bit. But, it felt so amazing when we happened to kiss. You could really feel it. I can't explain how amazing i felt. It was really love. I just don't get whats wrong. I might be moving schools next year. I still haven't decided and it's killing me but i think i probably should. Balmain has such a depressing atmosphere for me, too many people with totally different lives from me, bad education, and every single day of my school life i feel like time is being wasted. I don't feel like i've learnt anything. i've had so much experience i must say, with a lot of stuff. especially having almost the whole school hating you, but you know, things got better in the end. But as for me right now, i feel so invisible. I really don't feel important and i feel like no one quite understands how i'm feeling. Are people only thinking of themselves? That's how i see it right now. Why can't anyone just listen to me? I don't know the point of life, but i know there is one, or maybe a few... hehehehe, i want to be SHOT, heheheheheeeeeeeeeee