it has happened I see every thing that I normally just egnor. I am what you would say addicted and know I refuse to do any more coke I woun't even drink the dame drink it is over done gone I don't want it I don't want the fucking monsters in my closet any more, I am going to tie them up under my bed I am going to gage them or him. I hate who I am right know. So yah this change is needs to happen. I am shaky and paranoid and sad and happy and I can't tell who or what i am any more so you know for all my friend who know who I am better then me know is the time to tell me who I am becasue I lost me, and I want to find me and kill the monster and yah so any of you insault as to what I have become any of the the talk that has been said behind my back about my stupity is more than welcome to be said to my face because its more halpful to know that I am a screw up by friends. Than having a monster convince me that I am healthy and happy when I am becomeing the monster myself. give me the brutle and bloody truth please!!!