boooored! nothing to do.. there's noone on MSN, some guy hacked it so now i have no friends :'( lol no just joking. grr...im gona play games on my phone and wait for a friend...if anyone reads this leave me a comment! xoxo

ok, so i guess you could say im falling out of love with my soul mate. I dont even know if i believe in that stuff, but its the only thing i have left to believe. I dont know anymore. My chemo is not really helping, i have migranes and i throw up every single day and my world is just falling apart. I feel like i have nothing else left and i hate it. I mean, coming from feeling like nothing could go wrong to what couldnt go wrong. I feel so..confused, soo..lost. I need so much help but i dont want to ask for it, i cant ask for it. No one will help me, they wont even try....im so lost.

Will You Marry Me?I Love You Brett

heyyy...i broke my arm today, woohoo! snapped it in 3 places..twice on my forearm && my elbow..how wicked is that eh? hmm..im kinda drugged, weee..i was dancing on a fence pole thingy && i slipt (thats how i broke my arm). && this post has obviously taken me like 5 mins to write. im so bored. i talked to James on the phone today, i miss him sooo much! i havent seen him in a couple months (if your reading this James, you rock!) adios, mucho amor. xx

Have you ever had the feeling that the one person who you loved with everything you have is not the one your meant to be with? I hate feeling so confused because of the distance..i cant help what my heart feels and i duno..its complicated..grr..my heart is killing me..if anyone reads this and has any advice..pls leave me a comment.

hmm...so after a period of having my heart broken i realised i couldnt live with out Brett. He was the reason i lived and if i couldnt have him, i couldnt breathe. I love him with everything i have, i cant stand not being with him. I hate living so far away from him, i want to be close to him all the time so when i get upset i can go to his house, but i cant =( i want to be with him for the rest of my life, no wait scratch that...i wanna be with him for all eternity. Brett is my world. I love you baby <3

i feel so sick. i had chemo today..god, it makes you feel so bad. even the thought of going back for another treatment makes my tummy bubble. i just wanna lay down and die. gr.. i dont want to go to school tomorrow, it feels like people can see right through me. that they all know im sick. like they cant handle the fact that im different to all of them, so they reject me. i wish i could fit in with people just once i mean yeah i do have my own friends but when do they ever just once not ignore me..i have nothing anymore..

well..hm..what should i write..i have really nothing to say except that i needed somewhere to write stuff where none of my brothers would see. ugh, 3 brothers. so annoying. i was talking to Javon about..4 mins ago lol. his cousins are so weird, they were saying i was santa claus = wtf..hmm..i have to pee..hold up. =] k back and i pee'd. im talking to Brett and Ryan. woo. sexy. im bored so ima go watch tv..