I don't know who to turn to. When I first started failing, I tried to turn to [J]. She said "good." Goddamn "good." and this girl calls her self my "best friend." But other than her, my friends fit into one of two extremes: overachiever____________________slacker. I tried to talk to my mom, who just sent me to the counsellor (who tried to get me to drop the few classes I can stand just because they're advanced.) and told my brother to tell me I needed to start caring(what a forced conversation that was!) I don't know. Now that I'm thinking about it, its not so much that I'm not doing well. To be honest, I could really care less. It's just that I have no one to turn to anymore. My friends are quick to come to me if they need someone to cheer them up. I don't think they realize that I'm not just the confident, quirky, girl with weird clothes. They don't realize I break too. Maybe it's my fault. Or maybe they're just selfish. I mean [J]- My Fucking Best Friend- will sit, eyes glazed, as I try to tell her what's going on with me. Then as soon as she can,she'll lauch into some woeful tale about how the fucking kid she has liked for 2 years and BARELY TALKS TO probably dosn't like her as much as she LOVES him. And that she's a failure. Or she'll just bring up some stupid show she would watch if she still had cable. Then I'm the "better" person. I hold it in and I try to care And give her the same advice for the 700th time (start up a conversation with the kid...) And I try to keep my voice under control when I see the proof yet again that my best friend would rather talk about FUCKING TELEVISION instead of trying to help her BEST FRIEND WHO IS CLOSE TO TEARS. her antics make me feel immature. why don't i start talking to [name] more? It's not her fault that I'm best friends with her. That she's the only one who knows all my secrets. That I like her when she's not being such a OHHGSDFHGOISHG. I'm exhausted. (met him in a hotel. I'm still alive)