finally feeling like life is going good just bought tonya and i a new car, well used car but new to us 1998 jeep grand cherokee limited.. leather interior, heated seats, power everthing, tinted windows, alloy wheels, all time four wheel drive, sun roof, i know u're jealous.. in other news, diag and i are gonna make a movie parodying old sidescroll video games stay tuned late

hey, wow, look at all the people not on here. i hate myspace.. bring back sitdiaries... fuck... my sitdiary is so much more the cooler.. i'm finally buying a guitar.. maybe.. haha diag got a friend that is selling one that i may buy.. in other news.. i love to play world of warcraft and magic.. god i'm lame.. but its all good

no one is ever on here, so i guess it's a good place to store my thoughts. i've felt kinda down the last couple of days, some things have happened that really disheartened me. it really made me evaluate my life. i've realized whats important to me and what isnt. i've realized that selfishness runs so deep in people that you can not root it out. i've realized that people dont grow up even with a good reason to. i now know that you cant depend on anyone really. and i've realized that people dont care about most anyone but themselves, no matter what they tell

smooth like butter that is all

to be completely honest i dont wanna live anymore, i mean seriously this world is so fucked up what is the point. i dont wanna see everything fall apart. it will destroy me inside. sometimes i feel like i've got nothing. i dont wanna watch my son grow up in a world where drug use is not only acceptable, but encouraged. what the fuck is that. i live in a world where i'm the idiot cause i dont drink. i'm an outcast cause i dont smoke, i'm the fucked up one because i'm not fucked up. i'm not like all these fifteen year old girls on here that are claiming there gonna kill themselves for attention i'm not that fucking stupid. i'm just saying. if the world ended tonight cool fuck off good bye

the greatest achievements are not realized in our times. the greatest experiences are the least talked about. the greatest of things go forgotten too often

i'm trying to keep my sitdiary alive dammit. fuckin myspace. ruinin lives, yeah i have one, but i miss fucking around with this bitch and people on here and shit. tonya and i just got done eating one kick ass dinner recipe. some sausage with peppers onions and shit cooked in gazebo room dressing. gotta love it. welp, now i remember why i dont get on here cause it's fucked up. later

i'm thinking i may get another tattoo. i have quite a few ideas of things i want 1- on my right shoulder i want a koi fish 2- either on my left elbow, or on my right leg, behind my knee i want a butterfly. 3- on my right forearm, on the outside, i want a bass cleff. 4- i want angels on my forearms 5- i want an angel wing on my left shoulder blade going down my back. 6- i want a ship somewhere on me 7- i want some pin-up girls, just not sure where. that's about it for now.

i'm on the verge of completely fucking flipping out once again. and you know who you are and you know why. so dont fuck around with me. that is all

i would say i wish i was dead but that is not true we spend too much time on words that mean nothing. or we spend too much time in silence. but the words that we think are heartfelt are nothing but twisted lies. venomous lips spu forth a foul nectar. bleeding so profusley that i choke. i have not stopped shaking now for hours. my world shattered like an old window but somehow, as always, i'm not broken. i'm forgiving but never forgetting. i wish i could forget. and as i try whole heartedly to be what i know i can. so many roadblocks pop up to fuck me. i cannot settle my stomach i feel as if i may vomit at any moment and what hurts me most is the silence or is it the way in which things present themselves. secrecy, deciept. false regrets god, what a horrible night to be me. but dont waste your pity on me so many are more diserving just dont forget me. no, i'm not going anywhere, just keep me in your thoughts and if you love me, then love me. that is all i ask i dont need words, just love that is all i ask

yep, i'm currently diggin coheed and cambria. they are really good, just some (alot) of there songs annoy me. tonya showed me a video of us from like two years ago, back when we were so in love. i miss it. but livin together changes alot. and havin a baby, yet, of course i'm longing for those days. and it's also when i weighed 180 pounds, i lookes so skinny. i need to get back down. you should see how much i loved her, you can see the way i look at her. of course one reason i dont anymore is because anytime i do, she goes "what are you looking at, what are you up to?" i'm thinking of giving up bass because i just cant find people to play with. i mean, john and i rocked and were good, but all he wanted to do was play covers and he wasnt much of a song writer. and the last people i was playing with just wanted to get drunk or stoned, so fuck that. i need some people with similar beliefs and people who are at least at my skill level, i mean i'm not that good, but i can keep time and everything. i've dealt with a couple people who were just horrible, like, they shouldnt have been playing. basicly i need fish to come back and start a band with me. and then we need a drummer, or guitarist, depending on what fish plays, or he could play bass and i could play guitar, which ever. or i could try to find people who are even closer to my tastes i want a band that sounds like the illegitamate love child of fallout boy and bleeding through. hi ho hi ho, to championship i go off to find some people like me

it's funny that my wife thinks i dont read her online diary so she writes mean things about me in there. isnt it? or sad, i guess

for christmas i got aqua teen hunger force volume for from my sister. and i'm sorry for calling her a mean name. from my dad i got some cop out gifts, but the tools came in handy, so no harm no foul. from my mom, i got crap. and we got a down comforter from my little brothers, (aka my mom), i got crap. from tonya i got sin city, mr and mrs smith, this kick ass shirt, metal gear solid three: snake eater. and a shaver, hell yeah tonyas dad and dad gf got me nothing, tonya's step brother got me cologne, a good fragrance, hell yeah. tonya's dad's girlfriend's parent's got me a card with twenty bucks. so it's all good. tonya's mom and step dad got us a washer and dryer. which we really needed, so that's great. so tonya's friends want her and i to go to a hotel room on new year's eve. at the holiday inn. my cousin works there and last new years they busted 15 rooms and about 60 kids for underage drinking. and last prom 30 rooms and over a hundred kids. so yeah, i dont drink but i'll still go down you know. and that aint right, so i guess i'll be watchin the baby so she can go. not too bad, i love my baby. but if she loses her liscense and has to pay fines, let's just say she'll be sucking to her mouth hurts and my dick's red. fuck yeah i wonder what's goin on at championship that night? XxX

so, i'm fucking at band practice and jeremy has like these two guys over, the ones pretty cool, but the other is a drunken fucking asshole. but they keep takin over the instruments and shit. plus they are all fucking smokin shit. trevors the only one being cool. last time jeremy was all cool and respectful of me. trevor told me he told jeremy he didnt want these assholes here, but jeremy doesnt care, i guess cause they brought weed. i'm probably gonna go home early to my wife drinkin with her friend. it's a shitty day to be edge. this just makes me stronger. i was thinking of not coming back until trevor and i sat down to talk. he's pretty fuckin cool. the assholes are gettin ready to leave. ps they are all drunk stoned. i almost said i hope the wreck and die, but i changed my mind. they might hurt someones family. i hope the get pulled over and arrested. that is what they diserve. that is all my will is stronger than before

well, what has been going on. the deimler christmas party was all good fun, except when my cousin john decided to yell out that i got a tattoo with my dad standing behind him. so my dad got pissed at me, but he got over it. he was all like "the bible says not to mark up your body" and i was like, "yes it does, but on the way to breakfast thismorning you were speeding and excelerated through a yellow light, and the bible also says to obey the laws of the land." "and it also says the all sins are the same in the eyes of god, so it doesnt matter if you jaywalk, or rob a liquor store, you get punished the same." all he had to say was "i dont jaywalk" so i shut him up. in other news, my cuz john traded in his rustang for an srt-4 it is so sweet, red, very comfortable ride, great interior. motor sounds awesome, and the stereo does too. cant beat that with a thirty nine and a half foot pole. took dante with me to my cousin mikes birthday party. he slept most of the time. and i hung out. it was a good time to be had by all. everyone wants me to go to myspace. fart that farters. i wanna drop some f bombs fart you. anyway. tonya wants me to get her some excersice video called "yoga booty ballet" but she still smokes, so tough cookies. that is all xXx

great song. so i'm just downloading some cool stuff. go to a download thing and type in leeroy jenkins. enjoy. so i'm downloading funny videos of world of warcraft. goood times. i'm getting readay to go forth unto my bed. not much is going on really i rented 4 movies today deuce bigalow: european gigalo. it was pretty good. not as funny as the first. bewitched. nicole kidman is so hot. and she's very cute in this movie which made me like her more... hell yes. also i rented madagascar.. cause it looks so funny, i've yet to watch it tho. and i also picked up sahara cause that looked pretty kickin. i was gonna get mr and mrs smith. but i want it for christmas. aight i gotta go show my sister what i want for christmas

so it's thanksgiving and i'm full and about to eat again and tonya is tryin to turn me on cause she knows that we cant go fuck. what a butt head. oh well. i really aint got much more to talk about. so later

i love this song, tonya is currently accusing me of being obsessed. i titled my entry make it count so that i would remember landon's band is named "make it count" alright. so i asked tons and tons of people questions about getting tattoos, like what it felt like and how bad it hurt. and out of all the people, only two were close, that would be my sister and luke cain. luke told me it felt like a bee sting on sunburn. and he was right. my sister told me that when it starts hurting and you're just about to say ouch. he has to go get more ink. so incase you didnt follow, i got it today. it was a pretty cool experience. well worth it. one thing i didnt think of is that where i got my tattoo, i cant really see it to enjoy it. i just realized that on the way home. oh well. i gotta go now. xXx forever

so, i'm finally getting a tattoo on saturday. long enough you say? well i'll agree. what is it you may ask? i guess you'll just have to wait and see wont cha. the baby has got a little cold, which is making tonya's job hellishly harder. she works so hard. and in case you are wondering why i dont help. i go to work, i'm the bread winner. they're like "johnny, tell him what he's won. well bob, he's won a lifetime supply of bread" yeah that is right. i bought a ps2 just before the baby was born. i'm on the cutting edge of technology, i know. i play that way too much. i'm getting my five string bass repaired, and hopefully right after the holidays ( or before, but probably not ) i caon go back up to bubs to jam. awesome, well gotta go eat it

so, my baby is so cute. i know everyone thinks that their baby is cute, but mine really is, here is the web address for the online photo album. http://photobucket.com/albums/b174/drokkdxe/ sorry that i dont know how to make a link on here. so anyway, see for yourself, he is cute. dante anthony , born at 4:57 on monday october tenth. in other news, rich stopped by earlier to show me that he was dressed up in a tux, cause he's the best man in some dude's wedding. rich never dresses up. unfortunetly i was asleep, so tonya took some pictures for me on the digital camera. you gotta love that. peace off