I look around and don't understand people. I don't understand why we do the things we do. Why we feel the way we do. I got to know you. I didnt know you before. I just wish that you knew that it made me happy. I just wish that you cared as much as the rest of us do. All of it makes me wish I never knew the real you. Maybe I never did know the real you? I wish that I wouldnt have enjoyed your company. Before, you were like an illusion and now you are even further away. You just decide that being with them is better. Is it because they use? And we don't? Because I wish it wasnt like that? Is it because you can have sex with her or them and can't with us because we are family? I wish it wasnt that way because family should be more important but you dont seem to care. . I love you.. families love eachother. I can't help it. I sometimes wish I could. Then all of this wouldnt hurt me and I could just stop wishing that we were close. That we could have deep conversations. But you think that God isnt real. You probably think I am stupid for loving Him. And trying to follow Him. I just wish that you could see the beauty.... You're smart and God gave you that gift. But do you even care to realize any of it? I am done. Can't keep going on like this..