Maybe we just weren't meant to be.

I'm 18 and i'm graduated! whoooo :] Now all I have to do is find a job. haha... So pretty much i usually DREAD mondays but i don't have to do shit so it's all good!! :] This weekend was Rose's birthday party, it was fun but i got a little too belligerent. All those tequilla jello shots with do that to ya!! haha Last night I went to the movies with Kellen, Cami, and Caleb. we saw 3 different movies...didn't finish either of them...lol. And this week...welll we'll just see what happens. My summer has already started, so i think i am gonna work on getting tannnnn :] But for right now! I am gonna go drop cami off at school and then go get a breakfast burrito. fuckk yeahhhh :]

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to die? well that's how i feel. I've been eating soo much today cause i feel depressed...and thats what i do when i'm depressed....EAT....ALOT... the only thing right in my life right now is my two best friends [liz and carissa] and my other best friend/boyfriend Kellen...uhhhgg... everything else is SHIT. i'm going to start working out again everyday, i'm joining the gym tomorrow so maybe i can feel better about myself. fuck thiisss shittt.... i'm out.

Haha they actually have "high" as a mood on here!!!! hahaha which is what I am right now, and I feel fuckin' goooood! Today it was about 90 degress, I Love california, 90 degrees on a saturday in february. Me n Liz and a bunch of people to the beach, Kaylee was there, we had a bunch of beer and bud, we got all high and layed out in the sand it was fuckin' chill. then liz and i went and got her car and came back to my house, i just took a shower and my parents smoked me out! hah they are so chill. Liz passed the fuck out, I figured i would let her sleep for a while...cause we are gonna go out and party!! it's already 6:30 so that bitch's gotta wake up sooon and get ready!!!!! but yeah just wanted to update my life on here....and so far it's fucking amazing ♥

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck I hate this time of month. Someone just shoot me in the fuckin' head... ..please?

This is the first time i've ever had a boyfriend for valetines day. I seriously thought it was going to be another year without one considering seth and i broke up. I'm so happy with Kellen :] I've hungout with him everyday for the past two weeks and every time i see him it still feels like we havent hungout in forever! Well my mom is working at her friends flower shop today, and it's really busy because of valentines..so she couldn't pick me up at 3 so now i am home early, which is awesome cause i hate staying at school till 3. Kevin(This guy that I go to school with) has given me rides home two times, so today i hooked him up with a sack, lol. Not like I was gonna smoke it...I've been smoking more than usual..I gotta stop it. lol. But anyways, Kellen is gonna come over. I still gotta take a shower cause my alarm didn't go off this morning and i couldnt take one! ewww haha. I feel like shit. gonna go nowwww. peace. ♠

I just deleted all of the old diary entries I have been writing in here for the past five years...I feel like I just deleted half of my life. Trying to start over is a good thing. And i'm doing pretty good at it. I'm stickin' to the plan!! [For once in my life] ♠4 years of high school ♠3 Different Schools ♠2 Different homes ♠1 New Beginning...I can deal. Hundreds of new friends...ALOT of boys...ick. Almost 18, starting to get a better idea about life...Actually accomplishing some things.[[Even got best attendance at my new school]]MIRACLE...if you ask me. It's So amazing how choked up over guys i've got in the past few years...I've had some crazy learning experiences...let me tell ya. Thank god high school is over with. It's really weird starting a new diary like this but i gotta vent! or else i'll go crazy...anyone who knows me knows THAT. One thing i can say i am truly proud of is being able to keep my best friends who i have known for years so close to me...still. Life is good, Same friends...New boy. Lets see how long this one will last...who knows. I'm not even being too careful with this relationship because i'm way too afraid it might turn out like one of the other ones...At least he's not a psychopath. Thats a plus. I'm just going to take this day by day... Well I should probably go do something productive with my life now instead of sitting online like a lame. Peace out Bitches.

Its So weird looking back at old entries and just thinking about how much ive changed...No more partying, drinking, drugs, (and this is good thing) cuz i'm actually 3 and a 1/2 months pregnant and i couldnt be happier. jeez. if i would have known this was going to happen 7 months ago i would have thought i was crazy!! But its actually made me alot better of a person. I decided to take responsibility for my actions. and as for the dad...we've been together for almost 7 months. which really isnt long enough to be having a kid together already...but oh well. its like...your never OLD enough or RICH enough or READY enough for a kid anyways its a big responsibility...but i'm willing to give up everything for this. and i got my first ultrasound a few days ago!! (so cute!) you can totally see everything already and i get to find out what the sex is in 4 weeks. my parents are exctied and so is everyone else! i've literally told everryyyone i know! its so exciting and such a great feeling...besides all the sickness. well anyways. i'm gonna go lay down...SO TIRED!!