"i am slowly facing the reality of how concrete my future has become" a man said looking into the mirror in his bathroom. his morning ritual of giving himself a pep talk was superceded today by the grim reality that looked him in the eyes every morning. the man knew how close to death he was, and death was no longer fearful anymore, infact he welcomed it. But alas one more morning had come and he still lived on "what is my purpose living today" he asked himself, not spitefully but meaningfully. the man had been very spiritual and ultimatly a very kind hearted and loving man but on the outside he put up a hardend shell to protect the soft inside. but soon that shell was all that he had left " huh" he scoffed. "how many people wait for death, how many people look for it every day." Death had been his only though since the passing of his wife three months prior. we as very ill, his kidneys had failed and he was on dailasis, every day his blood was taken from him and cleaned. but in the last couple of weeks he had gotten better and his kidneys were funcinal again. " why Lord, what is left for Me" he cried. "i only want to return to my wife" his 30 second morning ritual was streching on now, the tears streamed down his worn old face. and he closed his eyes, deep down he hoped that they would not open but they did. the whole day the man sat around and waited for death, but he did not come, the man went to bed that night and began to pray " Lord, i beg you every night to take me to my wife and you don't, what is my meaning? why am i sill here. tell me!!?" he was praying very hard when he heard a voice "i cannot take you to your wife, it is not your time to meet her." the voice boomed " but Lord, She is all i lived for before and now i have nothing to live for" the man exclaimed " that is why i cannot take you, you have nothing to live for, Love is the reason to live and you have lost your love for all things" "Lord, there are no longer any things left to love for me , my love was in my wife, all of it." the man began to cry again "You were the reason for my life" the voice boomed again. " i once had so much love for you, that amidst the threat of my life being taken i still did what was needed for you. even though you have lost your love for me I still love you, even then, when i knew you would turn from me and hate me and spit on me, i loved you, and i am waiting for you to return that love back to me." "how can i love you when you took my love from me" asked the man The voice paused and then "I am the reason you had that love, without my sacrifice for you, how would you know what true love was, with out the hate that was given to me, and the pain, how would you know what love is. Your wife is your love, but I am love. I did not take your love from you I gave it to you. the man stoped, the tears now were constantly streaming down his face now. he understood now what it all meant. and his heart began to throb. The old man went to sleep that night feeling very comforted and very loved. his love had been returned to him, and now he was ready to live. he no longer wanted death to come, he had so much love to give. However; when the morning came he did not open his eyes. The Lord understands that we don't feel the purest forms of love because it is to strong for us, that is why people doubt his love. and even though sometimes you may feel alone and hated, But the truth of the matter is that the love surrounding you is so intense that you can't see it, or feel it. it has always been there and you have grown so acustomed to it that you have forgotten it's there. take a moment and let yourself remember the love that surrounds you, and you will see and feel why YOU are still here.