Unconditional love: What is it? Many human beings say "I love you" one day and reject you the next. That is not love. One whose heart is filled with the love of God cannot willfully hurt anyone. When you love God without reservation, He fills your heart with His unconditional love for all. That love no human tongue can describe....The ordinary man is incapable of loving others in this way. Self-centered in the consciousness of "I, me, and mine," he has not yet discovered the omnipresent God who resides in him and in all other beings. Unconditional love cannot be based upon performance or it would not be unconditional. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. He (She) who believes in him is not condemned; he who does not believe is condemned already because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God." --John 3:16-18

Well its been awhile. Alot has gone on since i last wrote. Emilee has been playing basketball which she loves. Kerri has been working like crazy. Monday was Kerris birthday she is the big 24 now. I took her to pigeon forge on Sunday night to stay the night and we swam in the indoor pool which was really fun cause i have never swam in the month of December before in my life it was a first. then we went and rode the sky lift which is becoming a tradition i think. then we went to bed, we were really tired. then we woke up and went shopping at the outlet stores which i havent ever really been to before, and we ate at Gattiland which was way better than the ones we have here in knoxville. we had a really good time. Yesterday i was really sick. I couldnt stay out of the bathroom for one reason or another. it was bad, but kerri was a trooper she took care of me. she is soooo good to me. love ya ker. She took Em to get dunkin donuts and they came back and kerri put makeup on em and did her hair in a cindy brady look it was SOOOOO cute. well i guess i better get back to work. bye

i ended up not doin much at all this weekend. Kerri and I watched movies while mom, dad, emilee and james all went to see Chicken Little on friday night. i layed around the house and did a few clothes on saturday then i went to pick up Ker from work and we came back and she got ready and we went to west town mall to get some ideas for eachother for christmas. we have already done quite a bit of shopping. i am almost done with emilee, i have to pick her up one more big present and her stocking stuffers and she is complete. woohoo... i have never been done with her so early, EVER. she is really gonna have a good christmas. now my concentration is on Kerri, she has a birthday coming real soon and then christmas. i know what i want to get her but i am not sure which to give her when. oh well, i guess i will fiure it out. i usually get her opinion on things like this but in this case i cant. we had plans to go to church on sunday but i was dealing with a round of sinus problems. i bet i sneezed like 400 hundred times no kidding. so i took some benadryl and nocked myself out. we slept until noon on sunday and then we got up and scrapbooked. which is what i am doing as a gift for my mom. it looks sooooo good i am very pleased. well tonight is the night for the BIG candle party. kerri, emilee and i were cleaning all evening tryin to get ready for everyone. i think there is going to be about 10 people coming. we will be burning some wax baby, yeah! Kerri's mom is going to try to come, she has never been to our house so i am alittle nervous about that. i am not much of a party giver but i am gonna give it my best. well i will let you know how it went. later

Well here it is again, friday... WOOOHOOO!!! not that i have any exciting plans this weekend or anything. actually, i will be cleaning my house to get ready for a candle party Kerri and I are having on tuesday. so i am sure that will take me all day saturday to do since i havent really deep cleaned my house in awhile. Kerri has to work all day tomorrow so i guess i will be a solo domestic goddess tomorrow. HAHAHA Emilee got her first call lsat night from a boy!! OMG it is already starting.... i was so cute listening to her talk on the phone with him. so now she is all about having a phone in her room. oh well we will see... the christmas rush is about to hit. Kerri got her schedule yesterday and she has a crap load of hours she is scheduled for next week. at least it is mostly days or i would never get to see her. im sure as christmas gets even closer it will get worse, poor ker... well i guess that is all for now...

Life is hard........ everyone wants to be loved and accepted for who they are, but in reality not everyone is. it is the challenges you face that makes you strong, but how you choose to deal with them makes you the person you are. i choose to hide my feelings more times than others. my thinking is it will soon go away and sometimes it does but most of the time it doesnt. and then i feel three times as bad as i originally did. i wish i could just be free with my feelings, be open about how i really feel. as you can tell i have been facing a couple of challenges this week. one hurtle went great but next one not so good... i kind of expected it to happen but hoping it would not. life does go on and hopfully i can over come these feelings of rejection. you always think you are prepared for possible outcomes to certain situations but you NEVER are. i do have my rock to lean on, who is also going through the same thing but in a little different way, which is all i need to get me through. double standards really suck BAD!!!! i have never asked anyone to agree with my choices or opinions and i never will. i just ask that you look at me as Stephanie nothing else. the Stephanie i was last week is the same as the Stephanie i am today. nothing different. people want you to be open and honest with them but when you are, it is always a gamble. sometimes you win sometimes you lose..