well since no one knows/reads/cares about this journal site i think i can pretty much write what i feel which is like shit. i really dont think my girlfriend (rachel) knows how much love && care i feel inside for her. i dont think she knows that she is my world. the one person i live to see happy or laugh or smile. i try my hardest to make her happy. i honestly do. more than ive ever tried to make someone else happy. and im not saying that she doesnt apprechiate what i do for her because of the things she does for me. but i do things for her like send her cute little cards or txt messages and she never says anything about them. not one word unless i bring it up. i guess it just kind of hurts my feelings because i just want her to notice me or something i dont know im a very weird person. lately we have been talking about living together and being together and putting rings on one anothers fingers but what i dont think she knows is that im taking this to heart and if she were to put a ring on my finger and ask me to be with her forever that i would drop down at her feet in less then 1.2 seconds. ive become so close and formed so much love inside for her that i cant see my self living with out her. i dont want to. i dont ever want to lose her to someone else. her friend nita just came out to her that she was bi. ever since she found out that rachel was bi she has been showing more attention to rachel. which im not to happy about because i think she may have feelings for rachel. and its not that i dont trust rachel because she is one of the few people i trust with my life i mean hello i gave her my heart...its just that i cant step up and protect my self and say hey u know shes taken back off. her and rachel are going out for breakfest tomorrow which somewhat saddens me but im not gonna say anything to rach because she will just tell me that im getting up set over nothing but i not. shes not in that position because i dont do things like that to her. all of my friends know that im taken and dont have any room to be taken out on dates. they know they will get the ass kicked for even thinking about it. i dont know i just love her and dont ever want to lose her. i think im just gonna go to bed.