Today Started off so bad. Me &Rach got into a tiny fight. She said some pretty hurtful things i will not repeat. &last night she said something that has tore me apart. I cant forgive myself for making her say that. Gosh. But on a better note i got to see her today, &of corse i acted like i didnt care but oh man inside i was soo freaking happy to be standing next to her being able to hold her hand and kiss her lips. It was pure bliss. But she mentioned something about partying for new years. im not so excited about that. i dont know why. i just REALLY dont want her to but i dont knnow how to tell her im scared she will get mad or do it anyways. i dont know i just dont like her doing things like that. i cant stand it it rips me to shreads. i guess its because i really do care about her. A LOT. but i might up date this thing next month. later