So it's been awhile since I have posted on here. A lot has changed. Nick is an ass. He won't be coming around anymore. I dont want a little boy I want a man. And he was not a man. So my love life is non existant. lol. So I have been focusing on my work and planning for the foundation and My health. The health thing has been eating up most of my energy. I went to the doctor about a month ago for my 6 month screening for melanoma ( what my brother died from). And they found two spots that they were worried about. Did the biopsy. We got the results back adn one was fine but the other one had abnormal cells. So I have to have surgery on Jan 7th so they can go in and get all the bad cells out and re biopsy them to make sure its not cancer. So my life is just plain scary right now. Im not sleeping very well at night, bc im so worried. I dont know what I will do if it turns out I have cancer. The thought scares me to death. This is the only place I can talk about it becuase my family is just as terrified. They refuse to talk about it and pretend that everything is just fine but the worry and the fear is there all the time. Its the huge elephant in the room that we are trying to all ignore. Sorry I just relalized all my posts on here are really depression. Shit. Sorry about that guys, well I'm done bitching for the night, I need to try and get some sleep. Post more later.