(20) Might as well die July 12th, 2004 @ 12:00am I last night i was really happy cuz brittany told me she has a guy she wants me to meet and get to know. Well last night i was talking to him on MSN. Then Kristina called and told me that her parent dont want me and her to be friends.cuz i was talking to josh and cuz am friends with brittany. I just can't stop being friends with brittany. Brittany is always there for me. I hate Kristina parents so much. Kristina might as well die cuz it feels like she did. I can never talk to her again. I just lost my Best Friend.

It's me once again! Its kinda funny I only write here like once a year. But I must say I do miss this website. This is the site where the love of my life and I got to really know each other. Can't believe that was 5 years ago already! Wow. Last time I wrote, Dustin and I were about to move into our apartment. Well we are moved in and been living here for almost a year now. We have had out ups and downs but we are doing awesome. Dustin is starting school in the fall and I just finished taking a CNA course and Passed. Now I just got to find a job. Kinda hard to get a job when No one is hiring. But I can't give up! September 2nd will be our 5 year Anniversary together and this year we are celebrating it by going to Valley Fair for a day and going to a Mitsubishi Cookout! I'm so excited. I'll try to write more. ~Cassandra Love you Dustin xoxoxo

I love you Dustin...Talk back baby!!!

Thank you for writing in this diary baby. I love you so much. Keep a update on your life in this diary cause i NEVER get to see or talk to you *tear* lmao I love you baby xoxoxo ~Cassandra

Hey baby. I thought it'd make you happy if I wrote in here finally. I'm actually excited for driver's training, cause then I get to run over to taco john's and buy me a taco. So what are you doin? What's the situation with the puppies? I love you so much. Dustin

i figured Dustin would have not wrote. Oh well love ya babe

ok so I hear it is your sweet 16 only if you have never been kissed...Well i don't care it was still my Sweet 16. lol. Well I had fun on my birthday. Dustin came over, we had cake and ice cream, went to the movies and then out for pizza. From Dustin I got roses. I Love Dustin so much. I wish Dustin would write in here, I bet he dont even look in ths diary anymore, even thought its OUR diary together. Oh well I guess you can't have never thing you want. I have much things to say but I dont know if I want to say them...Well if anything bad happeneds then well I will be writing back soon, count on it. I Love you Dustin! xoxoxo ~Cassandra

Well September 2nd was our 1 year Anniversary! So today it is 1 year and 12 days. So yeah, we fight but its ok we work them out. Sometimes on the same night for the next morning but it always works. Thats what I love that we always work things out, I mean I hate fighting but I love him so much. See I think it is when we don't see each other over a long period of time then we fight but when we are in person we hardly ever fight but I love being with him. I can't wait for that day that we live together and for the day that we get married. I want to be with him forever and ever and ever! This last year was the best year of my life with many more to follow! I Love you Dustin with all my heart! xoxoxo ~Cassandra

Hey baby. I had a lot of fun today at your mom's house. I like going to your moms because I can act like I usually do there. I really want you to promise me something though baby. You said you wanted me to help you watch what you eat, right? Well, if I'm going to do that, you need to stop getting upset of ignoring what I say. You HAVE to, because it hurts when I do say something. I guess that's all I really have to say though. I love you so much baby. I hope we can spend forever together. :) Dustin ---------------------------- I Cassandra Sommer will stop getting upset and ignoring Dustin when he tells me not to eat something and I will be willing to talk about it when ever Dustin wants. I Promise I love you Dustin ~Cassandra

Today after babysitting Jess and I went to go and pick Dustin up then we went to the mall, which I didn't buy anything which is odd. Then went to my moms house. Layed in my bed for a while. I liked that, just layin there in his arms...its makes everything so right...I wish we could have layed there longer. Then we went to the store and I got school stuff which was cool. I had fun doing that. I fell there and hurt my toe. *tear* but I'm ok. At Goddfathers I ate to much then yeah...I'm not going into that...Well that was our day together. I Love you Dustin with all my heart, and nothing will ever change that! I Love you baby!!! xoxoxo ~Cassandra

DUSTIN DUSTIN DUSTIN......I GOT IT BABY. I want you to come home right now. I bet you are scared right now and I want to talk to you. I want to call the ALC. I wish I could. But I bet they would not let me. I will just have to wait until you get home....ugh I want to tell you NOW. Dustin I told you everything would be ok. COME HOME TO ME!!! lol I Love you Dustin with all my heart!!!! xoxoxo ~Cassandra

I'm all not that scared anymore. I took the birth control off lastnight so I should be getting my monthly friend tomorrow or Wednesday. Or maybe even today but that might be to early for it so I dont think I will get it today. Last Saturday Dustin came over for about an hour then we went to my moms picnic thing and we met up with Brittney and Shane and we hanged out for a while. It was ok, not a lot of fun cause it was so hot and hot and really hot outside. Dustin and I just wanted to go home and have sex. lol. I think the best part about the thing was when I got my mom wet and her friend Lisa wet. That really cooled me down, then I was not that hot. My mom got to met Lisa, Julia, Morgan, and Lydia. Lisa said that me and my mom could pass as sister which I thought was a little scary. lol. After the thingy then we stopped at my grandma's house but me and Dustin just took me moms keys and walked up to my house. Which then, sence we were home alone, then we had sex. Which was grrrrrreat. Dustin, I really enjoyed that, and I know you sure did. I really liked it baby when you cum inside me for the first time. You know what??? I could feel it too. lol. I was going to tell you that but then I forgote to tell you. lol. Then Dustin, remember when my mom and bill, Stephanie, and Kali all left for a walk...I was like grrrreat..now we have sex again, but I was waiting for you to make your first move, I thought that was so funny when you finally said "you know what...we should be having sex right now" But I had a lot of fun. Sorry that we didn't get to finish the movie, did you like what you saw of it though? Yesterday was a....was a...umm....we'll just say a odd day. I have no idea what was wrong with me. I was acting like a different person. I did a lot of crying and I was being a bitch and everything then when I got of the phone with you and everything and I talked to you online and said I was sorry I felt a lot better. I dont know why, but I did. I'm glad you feeling better now..."make car nosies" I'm glad that the first time I said that you had a smile on your face baby. It made me feel a 100 times better. I Miss you so bad right now baby. I want you to come home from summer school so we can talk. *kiss* Umm yeah, I forgote to tell you, I'm going to take the kids to the pool today so I'm hoping to be back again before 3 so when i get home, I will just call you. I Love You Baby with all my heart and nothing will ever change that. Your my everything baby. xoxoxo ~Cassandra

Yesterday after babysitting I went to my moms house and Dustin was already there (cause my mom picked him up) and then me went to go and get kali and brooke at my grandma's house and then we went to the beach. I had a lot of fun. I didn't want to get out of the water cause I didn't want to get sandy but you know what? I enjoyed it cause I sat there and the sun dryed me off. And Dustin and I just layed out in the sun and I enjoyed that. Nexted time I will get out earlier so I can lay out in the sun. I also can get a tan and tan my legs. COOL. lol So when I got to my moms house Dustin and I ate supper and then went in my room. So we had sex...without a condum...and now...well I really dont know now. All I can do is hope for the best. Ok so I wake up crying. I first thing that came to my mind was last night. I'm really scared Dustin. I want it to be nexted week so we know for sure. Last night was a lot of fun but I'm scared. Last night I couldn't sleep. It must have been a dream I had that made me cry but I wonder what the dream was, cause I can't remember. Whatever happens I will always love you Dustin!!! Don't forgete that baby. One thing that I feel a little better about is that Dustin was talking to his friend lastnight and then his friend said we sould be ok cause he let some go in his girlfriend 8 times last summer (i was like holy shit kid) but anyway it made me feel better cause she never got pregnet...he is lucky but she was on the pill and I'm on birth control too so...I don't know. I'm going to go now. I Love You so much baby!!! ~Cassandra

Dustin: I wish you could see how stunning, charming, alluring, delightful, radiant, amazing, ravishing, unbelievable, pleasing, gorgeous, and absolutely beautiful, you are to me. I Love you so much. You are my everything. I want to be with you until death do us part and nothing will ever change that. I wish we could live together and have our own house and sleep together, that would be so sweet if we could. I can't wait until school startes again so we could see each other everyday, I really miss that!!! I can't wait until tomorrow I know you don't like to swim but thanks for doing that for me baby. You are my whole world and I don't know what I would do without you. I Love you so much baby. Love always and forever, ~Cassandra xoxoxo P.S. I know I put the same thing in all my diaries but I wanted to write something so I just put the same thing. I Love you Dustin and I want you home from summer school. NOW!!!..lol

Yay I'm home. And happy to be home too. Today I get to go see my mom. I have not seen her yet. Niagara Falls I thought was cool but not all that great. New York City....well I'm glad I went but I can tell you I'm not going there again. People I thought were mean. But thats just me. Some other people might think differently about it. Last Saturday we had a sale and I made about $20. I wish I would have made more. So with my money I had to buy a new charm. And it says...DUSTIN. I like it and I'm glad I got it. Dustin came to the sale and I got to see him for the first time sence I have be back!!! Then Yesterday I went to his house. I was acting like a little dork but thats ok. lol. I hope. lol. Now, today I'm back at work. Had to get Lydia up this morning and get her off to school. 4 years old and she gets to go to summer school for 4 1/2 hours. WOW. I didn't know that 4 years old went to summer school. Dustin I'm NOT mad at you for what you wrote. If you don't want to write in here then thats fine with me. Infact this morning did I sound upset? Cause I was reading it as I was talking to you. lol. I'm glad you didn't tell me that you wrote in here. That was a nice suprise. Thanks baby, (no I don't call everyone a baby...lol)I love you so fuckin much. And I too can't wait to live with you. Remember last night when you were so hungey and your mom told you to cook cause you won't always have a lady to cook for you....??? Well I will...I will cook for you whatever you want. lol. That just popped in my head. Also Last night I really enjoyed talking about the future. I wish everything you said lastnight will come ture. Oh yeah...We are having sex even though I might be preg. lol. I Love you. I'm sorry I was acting like a dork lastnight. But I was having fun and I hope you did too. Well I better go. I will talk to you when you get home from summer school. I love you sexy with all my heart. I Love you. (you can never say it to many times) I LOVE YOU DUSTIN!!!!! ~Cassandra

Today is day 3 of my baby being gone. I miss her to death, but I know it'll get worse as time goes on. She called and told me that they rode a bus and ended up in a deserted mall. lol I guess I have nothin else to say. I love her so much I wish we could live together. I love you Cassandra Dustin

Well.....I'm sorry baby. Maybe I over-reacted a bit about this, but I kind of always did think this was dumb. I know you love me, but some things just are a little.....unnessisary....you know? Don't get mad at what I'm saying though. I just thought you should know what I really think. It seems pointless to me to write in here because really, the stuff that you do write, I already know because we talk about it. Truthfully, I don't really want people I don't know or will never meet to know about our relationships and crap. That should be our buissness and no one elses except like our best friends. I love you so much baby....If what I wrote came off to you as me being mad, I'm not. I'm not mad at you at all. I just really needed to get that off my chest. I love you more than you could ever know, and the last thing I want to do is make you sad or upset with me. I love you baby, forever and always. Dustin

Yup...No Dasha Ok so this is now MY diary. Dustin got a little mad at me cause I asked people to leave comments and now people were leaving mean comments and Dustin got all upset so I think that is one of the worst things I have ever done on the Diarys. Plus Dustin does not want to write in here anymore so I guess this is now my diary. It hurts cause I really wanted a diary together but I did get the idea from someone else, yeah but this was there diary said....it had one entry...sounded like they were happy.....entry two said...we broke up so know one leave us commets. ok so they had two entry. Well me and Dustin together had 7. Like I told Dustin last night, you can get everything you want. I wanted us to have a diary together and I fucked up and now its over with us having a diary. Oh Well I guess this can be my diary were I put all my dark and deepest secerts cause know one else can read it... Yesterday I went to Dustin's house. I had fun. Most of the time we did have sex but I enjoyed it a lot!!! Then after words I started to cry cause well I'm leaving for Niagara Falls, and I'm going to miss Dustin so much. I wish I could take him with, That would be so awesome if he could go. One of my friends brittney went to Texas and she is getting there today and he got to take her boyfriend Shane with. She has no idea how lucky she is. As I said before I'm leaving today when I'm done babysitting. Dustin...if you read this please don't get upset for something that I said. I guess I'm ok if you don't want to write in here. Its over and done with. I Love you Dustin and nothing can ever change that...Never. I'm really going to miss you and I really am going to think about what you said about not seeing each other during the week anyway and I will just think that I'm going to other places in Winona that I have never been to before... Well I think I have done enough writing and when I get home I will write about each day!!! I Love You Dustin with all my heart!!! ~Cassandra

Today is June 30, 2005. One day before I leave, and before I leave I'm going to go to Dustin's house tonight. It is going to be so much fun. I know it, cause I always have fun with my baby. I miss him so much. I got a nice suprise today. I thought I was going to have to wait until 2pm to talk to him. But NOPE. He called me this morning before summer school around 7:30am I think it was. That was nice. Then I got another suprise when he texted my cell phone. Right now it is 1:10pm and i just need to wait maybe 40 minutes until he calls or gets online. Then only 4 to 4 1/2 hours until I see him. Gosh I can't wait. When I'm done babysitting I have to go to dollor Tree and get something, I won't say what thought. Then I have to go to Wal*mart and buy some minutes so I can talk to my baby when I'm gone, then I got to get a few more things. All in all I can't wait until tonight. I Love you baby so much, you mean the world to me and I am going to miss you when I leave. I wish you could go with. That would be so fuckin sweet. I Love You Dustin!!! xoxoxo ~Cassandra

This is my pet Dasha, she was born on the day me and Dustin started going out. I'm so stupid that I even made her a birth certificate. Ok so I like to think of her as me and Dustin's baby Hamster. Well she is almost 10 months old. And she just had between 12-14 babys. Well now there is only 2 left cause Dasha keeps eating them. But the 2 that are left have fur and its say that if the babys have fur then the mom won't eat them. Well I think it is so stupid that the mom eats you young. Once I would have called Dasha was my baby girl and my favorite but after she ate her babys, she is not my favorite anymore. Oh Well. Thats all I have to say about Dasha. I wanted to go to the movies with Dustin today but he is at work and gets done at 5:00pm and if we were to go to the movies then I would have wanted to go at 4:00 cause it is a lot more cheaper. But oh well. I want to save my money anyway for when I go to Niagara Falls, and New York City. I'm leaving in 3 days. So in 2 days I'm going to go over to Dustin's house to hang-out with him, one last time before I go on vacation. Dustin, I'm going to miss you so much. It is going to be so hard for me to sleep at night cause I won't have you near me. Being not to see you for 10 days is like being locked up and not aloud to see you again, I hope the 10 days go by fast so I can see you again soon. *kiss* I can't wait to see you on Thursday!!! I Love You baby with all my heart. *hug* xoxoxo I Love You Dustin!!! ~Cassanrda