its not like i really could expect you to spend forever with me. i really am quite a mess right now, emotionally and physically, but hey thats alright. i can hide everything just fine. after all, its only corey were talking about. you know the self-loathment you get when you know youve fucked absolutly everything that was ever good up, and theres no way you can fix it? apply that. i take pride in playing guitar, its the only thing im really good at, and i havnt fucked it up yet. i wish i could say that about one other thing, but ive fucked that up, too many times. in the end, im still alive. how unfortunate. i know. and im sure this is exactly whats expected of me, come back online, and pretend everything is completely horrible and get attention. right? wrong. i dont care about who cares for me anymore. im so sick of everything. i wanted one thing to happen, thats it, just one little fucking thing, is that really so much to ask? really? obviously it was becuase i fucked it up. my life, its like i take a jump, and then i take another jump before my feet even hit the ground. so i fall. i will always be strong. on a fictitious scale. i told you i would let you down. i told you i wasnt perfect. corey