I'm going to tear up all my notebooks. Paintings. Letters. Everything. I'm going to burn and tear it all up. As of this week, I never want to remember anything of my past.... Last night was horrible I hate havng that feeling.... it hurts, feeling lost, confused and alone... Depressions...... SOme people have depression of being fat..... ugly..... stupid.... slow......loser...... No... not me, i have depression of the past..... i really never had depression like this in past before, i would usually hide it.... but it just got to the point where i can no longer hide it an dit's all coming out at the same time..... for what happened in the past, for what steps i should've taking to handle my situations that I came across, basically of what i should've done and shouldn't have done. And it i took a different path... where would i be standing now? I love you, but i don't know where i stand anymore..... i love you, your family..... and you hate me for being me.... ..... i don't even know me anymore....... .........the feeling of being broken down........ the worst depressions ever! I love you all, goodbye.