my day starts with a carwash, that was fun. I cant be happy rite now. Its my fucking birthday party and no one is coming, My cousin was in surgery and got out last nite, he had some fluid in his lungs or something and he couldn't breath and got bad chest pains and started screaming "im dying" wow thats a scary thought. I feel so bad and I want to apoligize for all the shit I put him through. Im so scared for everything. My aunt has to deal with such a hell and it's not fair because she is such a good person. I love my fiends but one is an absolute bitch and being such a ditz, I can't stand it! She doesn't know what I do and I can't stand the fact that she can look into my eyes and tell a lie. Kelley is moving in today and when I got home my mom was crying, it had something to do with Forest but I really think that the fact that my brother won't come over. I don't know how I fell about her living with my dad, I dunno! Then my mom told me that " i should stop being a doormat" she says i do whatever makes people happy. Just a thought! I feel like she wants me to feel bad a bout losing my room so I will do something to notlet Kelley move in ..oops I guess that is a little bit late. w/e I am in a really bad mood and the fact that my best friend is not coming to my party doesn't help. She ditched me to babysit. She does whateer her parents tell her to. Which now I guess includes not coming to the party she said she could come to. I should just fucking cancel it!! ugh..there is this guy i am fucking crazy about. ENOUGH SAID! *just some thoughts* tabby