im sick. im tired. ive slept all day. i feel depressed but i wont let it get the best of me. i feel guilty. i took my baby home the other night, then went to Z's. no sex, but other things hapened. i still want to be with him, but i don't. he kisses me from head to toe. he makes me feel wonderful. he says he misses me. in a way i want him. he is perfect in everyway. but i dont want perfect. perfect would be too easy. perfect would be too effortless. perfect would make me bored. but he has a job, a car, a life of success ahead of him. my baby has nothing but a drug problem, lives with his parents, no car. he does have a job though. he is fun. he is exciting. he takes care of me. if it wasnt for him my bills wouldnt be paid. but its not about that, about money. he also makes me happy. i have fun with him. i just dont know. please forgive me. if im not sure i should just end everything with everyone until i am right? i just dont know...