So i'm ill and have been feeling really bad for ages. Then adding onto that i've got so many people having a go at me, annoying me and acting like friends when they're clearly not. First, all my friends never talk to me. We meet at the tree at break and lunchtimes and me and Holly always end up sitting there doing nothing. Sometimes we go off walking and we talk for ages. We walk round school and when we walk past the gang they give us weird looks. After about 5 or 6 times around they ask why we're ignoring them and i nearly lose it. Me and Holly just say 'we're not'. It's weird. Whenever we're replying to them we always end up doing the same or saying the same. Second, on MSN they never talk to me. I have to start conversations with them. Nicola never really talks to me anyway. Sam G noticed how much she'd been ignoring me and was apologising loads, she's a true friend. Whenever Katie's on she only talks to me to ask questions about our business. Holly comes on, and then disappears almost instantly though if she does stay on she doesn't talk for long. And i asked Amy if everyone liked me, honestly. About 3 minutes later she replied that i rocked, not really answering my question. Third, Mark keeps bugging me. He wanted me to sing one of my poems in a guitar solo for his music performance. I said maybe cos i wasn't sure. The poem's in copyright anyway. Then all he does is annoy me and lie to me, getting me to say things to other people and get them to hate me. I block him and he goes through my friends and he bugs them so much that my friends make me unblock him. I do for a minute and he annoys me. I can't take him anymore!! Fourth, Thomas. I never went to him for anything. I told him to leave me alone because he still loves me and he asked if i wanted to go out with him. I told him to leave me alone and i ended up swearing. He then decided to blame everything on me. Say that i 'used' him when convenient then pushed him away. Yeah i pushed him away but that's because he was always getting too close to me. He said that i moaned to him about my problems. I may have attention seeked but never to him. I'd post it on my online diary and he'd see it. If he can't take it then tough. Now look at his latest email: ' Actually, if you can remember, you came back to me asking if we could start over. The only reason I gave in was because I knew you needed help! I thought I could give you the help you needed. Obviously, I was wrong. You turned down my aid, and pushed me away. Just like you push away everyone who cares about you. You've changed. You used to care about people. Now you're just another heartless monster. You are no better then those fuckers at school who torment people for amusement. Only difference is... You hurt people who care about you. You hurt people more. I fell in love with you, but not as you are now. I loved you when you were caring and considerate. Not this pathetic little child I now see. You've lied to people so often, you have started believing them yourself. Like a shield, to hide who you are. I know, deep down, there is still that young girl I once knew. I was right about you, you did need help. You still do. You need help, to see through the wall of lies, and false images. To be who you were. Somewhere inside of you, there is the girl I loved, scared and alone. Trapped in the darkness. All I did was offer her a light. A helping hand, and a friendly face. You need help, now more then ever. You need help, before it's too late...' I know you're gunna see this Thomas and i know you're gunna swear at me and whatever but i don't care anymore. Fifth, off the subject of friends i've been ill since Wednesday. I missed 2 lessons of Karate. 3 vital Science lessons that i need for my test next Thursday. 2 English lessons that i need for my essay. 3 ICT lessons that i need for my ICT SPB. 1 French lesson where i'm supposed to have a test. And i'm not sure if i'll be alright for Monday. If i miss Monday i miss 2 lessons of Music where i'm supposed to do my performance. I can't miss any more school! On a brighter note. I just got asked out by a guy from my year. He kept hinting he liked me but he asked me out. Don't really know how to feel now...

I can't take much more...

Feelin crap. Self-harming. Life is shit. Who cares?

So, i've just today gotten into poetry, i've already written 3 in a matter of minutes. I'm posting them on my MySpace blog (blog.myspace.com/dawnie1600) i think that links right if not go to www.myspace.com/dawnie1600 and find a link to my blog there. anyways quite a lot of my stuff is on the downside of life so if youwanna stay happy then stay away!

So 'bob' reminded me that i hadn't posted here for ages... so i thought i'd post, hehe. So i've had a sore throat for a week, exactly a week, it came on when i was looking abfter the 'cute kids' last Sunday. My throat is just really blocked up. I keep coughing loads to claer my airway and it keeps me up til the early hours of the morning and wakes me up early so i don't get much sleep. I'm only drinking water too. I can't eat too much because it blocks my throat even more. Can't have any milk too. =( Mum and dad bought some medicine for me to take and i nearly threw up after i took it. I've never liked or taken medicine since i did medicine tasting for a company and hated it. I've always took tablets. The medicine mum and dad made me take is really thick and tastes like liquorice which i hate. It's helping though, my throat is unblocking at a quicker rate. So all in all i'm ill and hate it. OMG, I HAVE TO TAKE THIS MEDICINE 3 TIMES A DAY!!!! sorry, just found that out... So apart from that, i've been bored all week. All i've been doing is listening to music, talking to friends and going online. Kinda boring. Well on Monday mum and dad were off and were going through all their paperwork and among it foudn loads of old photographs. Omg, the found pics of the 2 times i've ever dyed my hair... the first time it was bright pink, the second it was brown.....ugh, i hate those pics. Anyways, on Wednesaday dad was off and took us into town to get school stuff and i got my trainers i wanted too. On the way home we had one of the new 'Extremely Chocolate McFlurry', mmmm it was lovely.The rest of the week was just boring. Throughout the whole week i've had one thing on my mind....Thomas....i sent him a couple of long texts when he was camping. I think it totalled something like 7 or 8 texts in 2 goes. I don't know what's wrong with me...i'm so confused and my feelings are just so mixed...i knnow you're gunna see this Thomas so i'm just gunna let this out...i don't know whether i was right to dump you or not...i'm just so confused and with Katie and all...you understand. But anyways, i'm depressed and am feeling so emo like. I'm listening to Emo/Punk stuff adn am thinking like an emo so...whatever *edit* Thanks for understanding Thomas..

Can't believe i was even looking forward to going back....i never want to go again... *edit* My options were mixed up, i spent like ages after school on the last day (July) sorting out my options and then i had to sort it out again at the beginning of term (September). It seemed like such a waste of my time. That and a load of other things... (Things were better yesterday. My options are sorted and i'm happy,hehe)

Why does everyone expect me to be perfect? I'm good at school related stuff and everyone would think me the perfect child but i'm not...i mess up all the time and nobody expects it...i am normal ya know! I'm sitting here in my room crying because i've been fighting with my parents. They're always going on about how i look and how i look after myself. They moan about the slightest thing. I can't help the way i am! They always boast about how great i am at school but it's Kara who gets all the attention, she's perfect at home and doing okay at school. She's stable but nobody's helping me at home. Nobody understands that i need help... At school i'm expected to stay near the top of every class and if i start going down everyone says i can do better but i can't! They put pressure on me to do better and then they teach us about peer pressure and stuff... I even get all the pressure from Guides. I go to girl guides and if they ask me to bring something in the next week and i forget they say that they expect more from me.....as if my life isn't hell already. I can't cope with any more of this...i hate disappointing people and i seem to do it all the time. I need some time to think but i never get any. My room is my place but mum and dad can always get in there. The only other place i can hide away is in music...i know that i won't have as much time to listen to it when my responsibilities grow and that terrifies me. The lyrics and the rhythm flowing through me are all that keep me going every day... Every day i have the same things going through my mind. 'Do they really care about me?', 'How can i do better?', 'What would their lives be like without me?', 'I wish i was dead...', 'What's the best way to kill yourself?' and tons more... I can't cope anymore! I'm drowning under pressure and nobody knows it. The rains pouring down hard even when the sun's shining. I hate my life and i wish it were over... 'And I feel like I'm living the worst day Over and over again ……… ......... And every day is the worst day ever Yesterday was the worst day ever And tomorrow won't be better It's history repeating (on and on)'- Simple Plan ~ Worst Day Ever 'I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair Nobody cares, cause I'm alone'- Simple Plan ~ I'm Just A Kid ‘Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever I'm sorry I can't be perfect Now it's just too late and We can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect’- Simple Plan ~ Perfect ‘To be hurt To feel lost To be left out in the dark To be kicked when you're down To feel like you've been pushed around To be on the edge of breaking down And no one's there to save you No you don't know what it's like Welcome to my life’- Simple Plan ~ Welcome To My Life ‘And I can’t stand the pain And I can’t make it go away No I can’t stand the pain How could this happen to me I made my mistakes I’ve got no where to run The night goes on As I’m fading away I’m sick of this life I just wanna scream How could this happen to me Everybody’s screaming I try to make a sound but no one hears me I’m slipping off the edge I’m hanging by a thread I wanna start this over again So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered And I can’t explain what happened And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done No I can’t’- Simple Plan ~ Untitled ^^^ i wrote most of that last night. When i went to bed mum and dad were moaning at me again and there was a big storm. Thunder and lightning... *edit* Thomas, if they care so much why do they put so much pressure on me.....they never even notice me anyways. I can shut myself in my room and cry and they don't even notice...They don't care...

hehe. Karate rocks! I had my first lesson and it was great. If you care, comment and i'll tell more! *edit* We did a warm up and then went on to do some basic blocks and some basic punches. Then the beginners went and re-did some of those whilst the yellow belts and above went through some katas. Then we did some basic kicks and the beginners learnt a yellow belt kata. Then we played a game for the younger kids and finished. It rocked! And no Thomas, you're not the only person who comments here. A few random people comment on how nice it looks, they're really nice, and some people come on here to bitch at me, naming no names *cough*chris*cough*

Lonely is you. You're only happy when it rains. Youspend most of your time indoors hiding awayfrom the world. You are dark, sad, and poetic.You are like a lost little artist with nothingto look forwards to but the slow march to deathand at your rate you may get their quicker byyour own hand. Your melancholia attitudeattracts others like you who feel misunderstoodand alone, but you tend to stay to yourself.Watching others play and smile makes you flinchand jealous. You think a lot and listen anddress the way you feel inside. You are actuallyvery emotional no matter how hard you try tobury it down and feel empty inside. You don'tbelieve in much and it leaves you feelinghopeless. You close yourself inside and spend alot of time on any hobby that can distract orexpress you such as writing, drawing, music,etc. which makes you talented at it. You feelsorry for a lot of things and live with regret,but all you need is one outstretched hand topull you up. You may want to stay in thedarkness, but you don't have to be alone. Which White Angel are You? (pics included) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're first kiss will be beautiful. You're veryintune to the things around you and are aslight perfectionist. Your love is pure, andwhoever you choose to share it with is lucky.You're very romantic and know how to treatpeople. Your kiss is a very strong part of yourlove. What will your first kiss look like? (beautiful pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your element is Ice. This element may seem a littleodd, but this is a side-effect from when theelement of Water gets too hurt. Once you were acontent soul, and happy with life. But thensomething happened. Not necessarily on one day,it probably happened gradually over time. Youlost your will to care and became even morereserved from the world. People had hurt you inways you do not want to remember and now youisolate yourself from them. You have turnedinto an outsider and probably dress more inblack than you used to. Your depression iseating you up and tearing you apart and theworst part is that no one is willing to help,or so it seems. In school you are often byyourself or one single friend and you rarelyseem to be truly happy anymore. Your sad,distant eyes and constant frown seems glued toyour face and you need a saviour from thisworld. You may turn to music for understandingand sing/scream along in the lyrics to get ridof some pain. You are not very open about yourproblems to your family/friends, and wish thatthey would just notice it and make it go away. What is your element? [with pics + detailed answeres] brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your Japanese name should be'Amaya'which means "night rain". You're adark person, a bit of a loner, and probablyeven depressed. You feel better at night thanat day. Rain makes you think of yourself, howit seems you're falling over and over again... Which Japanese name fits you best? [females, 9 results + absolutely stunning ANIME pictures!] brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your element is Rain: Sad, lonely, distant andunique. You are quite distant from emotion andpeople, but you have been made this way by onething or another. You are truly unique yet failto see it, and are quite creative be it in art,music, writing, ect.. You used to let people innow you don't even bother to try having beenhurt so many times in the past. Your attitudeis that you don't need anyone but yourself,people are just trouble waiting to happen. Butyou really do want to trust someone no matterif you see it or not, deep down your waitingfor someone to come and set you free. This kindof depression can turn dangerous, don't letthem get to you. Not everyone in the world willhurt you, humans are humans and are notperfect. So most likely sooner or later you'llmeet someone who feels like you do and perhapsyour shell will eventually disappear. .:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers- brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ you would be the peaceful quiet one :| / if you were in an anime show, what role would you play? / girls only / brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You are Miss Innocent! You are very naive and cute!Your nickname might be blondie for your"blonde moments" every now and then.But those are truly your cute moments and everyone loves you for your cuteness. You are asweetie and you may be a little bit shy when itcomes to guys. What would you do if...{QUIZ, wit pix} brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Solitary Wolf src="http://www.geocities.com/shade_moonbrow/Pictures/solitarywolf.jpg"> You are mostly a loner, because you yearn freedom,like the Solitary wolf. Your soul and heart area mystery. You still have friends, who areclose to you. Youre usually just hidden in thebackground. The moon is wat you relate to. What is your Spirit Creature ?(Mythical creatures) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grey Your dreams are grey and forgotten. They are lostto you from the moment you awaken. What colour are your dreams? (10 results, beautiful answers and anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your hair color is: Yellow! You are very shy andquiet, and also not outgoing. But the fewfriends you have made have a strong bond withyou, probably because you are always so caring!At parties, you are usually not the center ofattention... infact, not many people noticeyou. But this is not a bad thing, because youdo know how to make and keep a friendship! What is your Anime Hair Color? (Pics Coming Soon) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You are a Dark angel you like to be alone and donot appreciate life or anyone in it. What angel element are you?(great anime pics!) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well aren't you just the sweetest little thing?You're the best daughter your parents couldever hope for. What Kind Of Daughter Are You? (With Pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You like the ones that understand you. What kind of guy are you most attracted to? brought to you by Quizilla

Where'd all the pics go? There were some great pics with those quizzes. Still got a few anime and a great pic of Greenday, hehe! *edit* oh wow, look at everything load! yay! more pics! *edit* no 'huggles' please... i did those quizzes cos i couldn't sleep and was feeling really ill. Still am feeling ill. And i'm alone at home, Kara decided to go out somewhere and not even leave a note to say where. She normally wakes me up before 12 but i got up at like 2pm. I'm still tired and my throat kills. Glad i've got a tv and a great TV program called EM: Home Edition. omg, that was a long clap of thunder... *hides under blankie*

Amy Lee (from Evanescence) - you're punk or sk8er.That's cool. I'm not too fond of her but Iknow a lot of people are. And Avril Lavignewas a stupid choice for this one and I amsorry. REVISED I'm not telling you the title - a revised quiz!! (girls mostly - but if a guy wants to there are girl answers) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're crying because you are lonely. Maybe youweren't always alone, but you've never felt soalone now. You 're afraid to stay so alone. Youfeel like no one cares what happens and that noone even realizes you exist. Why are you crying? (beautiful pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ People see sadness in your eyes. You seem to behurt deeply. You may be unhappy because you arealone or feel like no one cares about you. Orit may be because something very awful hashappened to you. Whatever the cause, you gothrough each day just waiting for night to comewith sweet relief in the form of your dreams.But you may have even lost hope in your dreams.Chin up. Things should get better for you andthere is always at least one person who caresabout you. Have hope.(Image copyrighted toTasuki-no-Miko of deviantART) What can people see in your eyes?(great ANIME pics)((IMPROVED!!!)) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dusk. The transition from day to night. You arepessimistic and look on the downside of things.Things will always get worse and you can'tchange it. You hate changes. You know thatsoon everything will be alot worse. You arenot very trusting. You want people to bearound, but since they don't want to be aroundyou then you find yourself more independent.You are a nice person deep down, even if notmany people know it. Your mysterious. Yourweakness is your lonliness. What time of day are you? (with anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your theme song is Boulavard of Broken Dreams byGreen Day. Maybe you feel you're alone in theworld or just want to be alone. Whatever it is,it seems your best friend is your shadow.Whether that's from past experiances or thefear of future ones, the world may never know. src="http://www.boomspeed.com/starlight/brokendreams.mid"loop=100> src="http://www.boomspeed.com/starlight/mbanner.gif"> What's Your Theme Song? brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Goddess of Ice and Hope. You are a creativewonder. Always calm and collected, you hold theawe of many people and you are exceptionallylogical. You are an inspirational beauty. Which gorgeous goddess are you? For girls! (breath taking pics!) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~*~Result nr 12~*~ Your power is: The ability to breatheunder water Explanation: When swimming, you don'tneed to get up and take a new fresh breathsince you take in oxygen from the water. Thisallows you to stay in the water as much asyou'd like. In good purposes it can savedrowning victims. In evil purposes it can helpyou drag down a person to the depths and havethem drowned. This power helps you escape theworld, if even for a bit, since you have grownto despise it so much.You have been a beaten dreamer with aspirationscrushed. Now you try to control your hopesbecause you don't want to get hurt again. Youfeel there is no hope for you in the future andhave no real goals. But unlike the Controllerof Time you do still feel, even if it's mostlynegative emotions. You have few friends, ifany, and feel you are unable to speak aboutyour troubles. And unlike the Transformer, youdon't feel happiness nowadays. All seems to befilled despair whereever you go and you arebitter becaue the world has failed you. Itdidn't turn out the way you wanted it too andyou feel betrayed. It is also likely thefeeling of betrayal comes from pastrelationships where you were left alone in theend.Negative aspects: Since you are highlydepressed and not letting out your emotionsproperly there is a possibility for cutting, tolet the emotions out. Also, if the feeling ofdespair grows to strong you might considertaking your life. What Power is Compatible With You? [beautiful anime pictures + 12 detailed results] brought to you by Quizilla

Your soul has Amazing wings! Your always very determined to get what you want, and you never seem to give up. Your very good at the things you do, and you can always make a friend smile. Your wings give off a strength that no one else could ever have, no matter how hard they try. A quote: We won't be doing that now willwe? You've got a strict mommy now! The bathroomis over there got it? What kind of wings does YOUR soul have?(anime pics!!) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MYSTIC BEAUTY - You are eccentric, enigmatic, andintriguing. You keep to yourself and so no oneknows the real you. You prefer the solace andquiet of your own company over big crowds ofpeople. You are highly intelligent but you doeverything your own way. You come off as quirkyor weird and most people don't understand youat all. You are probably a little disorganized.You probably also seem distant and dreamy butthat's because you're off in your own littleworld. What type of beauty do you possess? (20 questions + 7 results + pretty pics) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Moon Quiet and Reflective, you perceive things otherscannot. Often you keep to yourself, but givegreat advice. You can be cold and emotionless. Which Tarot Card are you? (GIRLS) GREAT ANIME PICS! brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You are not preppy at all... YOU KICK SOME SERIOUSASS. Stay cool... you prep hater...HELL YA How Preppy are you??? Seriously? brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're a Punk... You rock! Are you a Prep, Jock, Punk or Goth? brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your soul is BLACK! "Dignified and impressive without being showy,you want to give the appearance of mystery, buttheir preference may also indicate asuppression of desires and worldly aims,suggesting hidden depths and innerlongings." What color is your soul and what does it say about you? ~anime pics~ brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You're the heartbroken and lonely school girl.Someone has broken your heart terribly andyou're very afraid of getting hurt again. Butdon't worry, somewhere inside of you is astrand of hope. You'll pull through. Yourcoldness and mystery is attractive to some ofthe quieter boys at school. What kind of school girl are you? (cute pics) brought to you by Quizilla

I think i killed my diary, lol. I've been playing around seeing if i can get some javascript stuff i have on my myspace.com account to work (www.myspace.com/dawnie1600) and now my 'last entry' isn't showing... hehe, that's me for ya, loves playing around with computers... *edit* wow, i think i fixed it, hehe! that was fun! *edit* i wanted to know cos he commented me giving a scary stare and he knows i hate when he stares at me, i always run away, lol. he looks scarier when dressed as a goth too... *shudders out of fright (and a bit of coldness too, lol)*

So it's the middle of the night....no sleep (like almost every night). What do you do? QUIZZES!!! Here's my results, lets see if they'll fit into one thing... oh i can't be othered, i'll do a few post thingys.... You are GOTHIC! Sometimes you might feel like youjust want to escape! sometimes u feel likethere might be no point living! Alot of peopleget this feeling. Most times youd like to be onyour own and away from people. You would becold towards others, its probably because youjust cant trust anyone. Maybe you should loosenup a bit and find som1 you can trust. Thanx please rate Are you GOTHIC, PREP, PUNK,UNIQUE (girls only) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ May, Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highlymotivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deepfeelings. Beautiful physically and mentally.Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easilyconsoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves todream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Goodimagination. Good physical. Weak breathing.Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling.Dislike being at home. Restless. Not havingmany children.Hardworking. High spirited.Spendthrift. What does your birth month reveal about you? (read memo) brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You chose blue eyes. You're a very smart, intelligent person. You liketo take things apart, and see how they work,and sometimes put them back together again. Inyour class, you're probably the student whoraises your hand the most, soaking up allknowledge for future purposes. Sometimes youcan be a bit of a know it all, and you kind ofalways have to be right. The Eye color personality test brought to you by Quizilla ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Your word is sad.. what happend to you? who madeyou this sad? You shouldn't be so sad.. cheerup ^^ Whats your word?(Anime pics) brought to you by Quizilla

I've said this is the past but i keep dreaming and imagining bad stuff happening to me. I just had one last night. I dreamt/imagined that mum, dad and kara were killed in a car crash while coming to pick me up from a karate tournament. I'm scared now. I get 'deja vu' a lot. I see all these things which come true. Most of the time i see them a year or more in advance but i'm scared this might come true. I'm just about to start Karate on Wednesday and if i get my Yellow Belt within 4 months i get a free license to continue doing karate. If i don't get it, mum and dad are gunna make me stop because of money problems. But i have a feeling i'm gunna get my Yellow because i've have a few free lessons of different martial arts and did good at them. I'm scared that my dreams aren't just dreams. I think they might be something to do with precognition... I know ihave precognition and all but i can't control it, use it to help me or tell when they come true... I'm scared... *edit* hey Kara, do your dreams ever come true?

CAPO 7th FRET Intro - G - C - G - C = 2x's (verse 1) G......................G7Madd11 I'm changing lanes and talkin' on the phone ........G/B.........Am7 Drivin' way too fast .........G.......................G7Madd11 And the interstate's jammed with gunners like me ..........G/B........Am7 Afraid of coming in last Am..............................C/B But somewhere in the race we run C We're coming undone (chorus) ............G And days go by Am7 I can feel em' flying .......G/B..........................C Like a hand out the window in the wind ............G The cars go by ..........Am7 Yeah it's all we've been given .......G/B........................C So you better start livin' right now ..............G.-.C.-.G.-.C Cause days go by (verse 2) G................G7Madd11 Out on the roof just the other night ..............G/B...........Am7 I watched the world flash by ..G....................G7Madd11 Headlights, taillights running through a river ...G/B.......Am7 Of neon signs Am..............................C/B But somewhere in the rush I felt C We're losing ourselves (chorus) ............G And days go by Am7 I can feel em flying .......G/B.........................C Like a hand out the window in the wind ...........G To cars go by ..........Am7 Yeah it's all we've been given .......G/B........................C So you better start livin' right now ..............G.-.C.-.G.-.C Cause days go by ..................G.-.C.-.G Yeah the days go by (bridge) D................................C We think about tomorrow then it slips away, oh yes it does D................................Am7..G/B....C We talk about forever but we've only got today (chorus) ................G And the days go by Am7 I can feel em flying .......G/B Like a hand out the window ........C As the cars go by G...........Am7 Yeah it's all we've been given .......G/B.......................C So you better start livin', you better start livin' C You better start livin' right now (chorus) ............G And days go by Am7 I can feel em flying .......G/B.........................C Like a hand out the window in the wind ............G The cars go by ..........Am7 Yeah it's all we've been given .......G/B........................C So you better start livin' right now ..............G.-.C.-.G.-.C Cause days go by ..................G.-.C.-.G.-.C yea these days go by G So take em by the hand C And yours in mine G Take them by the hand C And live your life G Take them by your hand C.......................G Don't let your life fly by ..........C..........G-G-G.-.C-C-C.-.G-G-G.- Come on, Come on now yea C-C-C ohhh G-G-G.-.C-C-C....................G...Am..C/G.- Don't you know the days go by .C.-.D.-.G *edit* when the chords come in it's off on here cos i can't get them to go in the right places without putting dots and stuff before them. it takes too long, lol *edit* i think 'Perfect Nothing' sounds better...

I'm really bored so i thought, what the hey i love music - i'll start using my diary to store lyrics and tabs that i'm using. Great idea right... I know what i'm posting first, hehe...

So, i'm really tired. I can't get to sleep with so much whirring round my head. The only thing i can do is come online cos my mp3 player is out of battereis. I can't believe i listen to one 52 second song over and over again for an hour... wow, i must really be tired thinking about that. I come online and end up talking bout something which makes my head start whirring even harder. I've got a feeling in te pit of my stomach that i can't explain. It's building up inside me... I can feel it getting stronger... I just don't know what it is. And i know it's definately not the stomach cramps i've been getting for the past 2 days, lol. I'm so tired and confused about too much stuff. I'm really happy but really sad. I feel so emotionally drained. I can't take much more on. I just got promoted to an 'elder' on a website and i keep imagining things happening. I don't know why but i always imagine something bad happening to me. things like my family dieing and none of my other family wanting to take me in and stuff. I don't know why i think these things but they come often... God, my life is such a wreck...

What is life if we're going to die? What's the point in living if we're going to die? Why do we exist to die? Can anyone answer those questions? The only answer i can come up with is that there is no point... why don't i just curl up and die now... it's not as if anyone would miss me..... *edit* Thomas, would you mean the friends that bitch about me behind my back or who bitch about other friends behind their back and aren't really nice people?

> > >CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!!! > > > > > >My name is Sarah > > > > > > > I am but three, > > > My eyes are swollen > > > I cannot see, > > > I must be stupid > > > > I must be bad, > > > What else could have made > > > My daddy so mad? > > > I wish I were better > > > > I wish I weren't ugly, > > > Then maybe my mommy > > > Would still want to hug me. > > > I can't speak at all > > > > I can't do a wrong > > > Or else I'm locked up > > > All the day long. > > > When I awake I'm all alone > > > > The house is dark > > > My folks aren't home > > > When my mommy does come > > > I'll try and be nice, > > > > So maybe I'll get just > > > One whipping tonight. > > > Don't make a sound! > > > I just heard a car > > > > My daddy is back > > > From Charlie's Bar. > > > I hear him curse > > > My name he calls > > > > I press myself > > > Against the wall > > > I try and hide > > > From his evil eyes > > > > I'm so afraid now > > > I'm starting to cry > > > He finds me weeping > > > He shouts ugly words, > > > > He says its my fault > > > That he suffers at work. > > > He slaps me and hits me > > > And yells at me more, > > > > I finally get free > > > And I run for the door. > > > He's already locked it > > > And I start to bawl, > > > > He takes me and throws me > > > Against the hard wall. > > > I fall to the floor > > > With my bones nearly broken, > > > And my daddy continues > > > With more bad words spoken. > > > "I'm sorry!", I scream > > > But its now much too late > > > His face has been twisted > > > > Into unimaginable hate > > > The hurt and the pain > > > Again and again > > > Oh please God, have mercy! > > > > Oh please let it end! > > > And he finally stops > > > And heads for the door, > > > While I lay there motionless > > > > Sprawled on the floor > > > > > > My name is Sarah > > > And I am but three, > > > Tonight my daddy > > > > Murdered me. > > > > > > There are thousands of kids out there just like Sarah. > > > And you can help. > > > > > > Sickens me to my soul, and if you just read this and > > > don't pass it on I pray for your forgiveness, cause you > > > > would have to be one heartless person to not be > > > effected by this story. And because you are effected, do > > > something about it!! So all I am asking you to do, is take > > > some time to send this on and acknowledge that this > > >stuff does happen, and that people like her dad do live in our > > >society, > > > and I pray for child abuse to wither out and die, > > > but also pray for the safety of our youth. > > > > > > Please pass this poem on because as crazy as it might > > >sound, it might just indirectly change a life. Hey, you NEVER know. > > >Please put this on your site if you are *~*~*AGAINST CHILD > > >ABUSE *~*~* > > > IF YOU CARE ABOUT CHILD ABUSE WILL U PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS!!!!!!