Life in the present

Feeling: anxious
So my Aunt is in the hospital- they say it doesn't look good. So because of this my cousin is coming up from Florida. I really hope I don't have to attend a funeral anytime soon. I have a shit ton of hw now on top of everything I have to go home this weekend. Fuck why now?
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Aww no hun I'm really sorry, I hope she gets better =[

The rest of what I was going to say doesn't even seem right now, so I just hope you are ok.
xxx
i completely understand.
my grandmother hasn't been doing well for a while now. in and out of the hospital.
and my uncle is dying of lou gehrig's disease. anytime now, he'll be gone too.
two funerals.
just the thought of it makes me want to curl up in a ball.


i don't want to have to take care of my mom once my grandmother dies. this thought terrifies me the most.

and my cousin, my uncle's daughter, has been my best friend all of my life. but we haven't gotten along for almost a year and it's been getting worse lately. bad timing, because her dad is going to die soon, and im not sure how to be there for her if she doesnt want me.


its a confusing situation.
this part of life sucks.