please forgive me for the wrongs i have done i didnt mean to hurt i didnt mean to cause pain i hope you know that i have been waiting waiting for so long so long to hope so long to feel again i try to be strong just for the people around me just for the ones i love so they feel safe so they dont have to worry about the troubles in the world about me i dont want to make a fuss its the last thing on my mind i try to forget i try to forget the bad memories that cloud my mind that bring me back to when times were at their worst when i was ashamed ashamed of how i lived of what i did of who i was i didnt know i wasnt sure and the stranger looking back at me with eyes full of hurt just wanting to break free just wanting to smile to laugh to breathe to open my eyes to the world face the truth face everything that i have been turing away from and all my reflection does is just stand there and lie lie straight to my face no matter how much it hurts no matter how much i know that i must bare another day like this another day like yesterday because tomorrow it will all happen again all the memories all the thoughts bring you back through time trying to block it out wont work trying to avoid it will just make it worse people forgetting your name never hearing you being ignored them looking at you with their blank stares its all the same day after day its almost as if you arent even there they look at you but its as if they see right through you as if what you are everying that you have tried to become is just just non existant that no matter what you say they just nod not even talking the time to notice what you are saying at the end of the rainbow is there really a pot of gold? a treasure that you deserve after your long journy is life really worth all this trouble is there even a plan to get to the end is there even a reward is death all you get all the questions will they ever get answered will everything i do everything i say be ignored sometimes i wish i could yell out that i just dont care stupid things that you say waste my time they are pointless and i just want to scream because in the end there are more important things than the stupid little things look at the big picture look at everything in a whole is this all worth it will this make a difference will your life impact on others? no why you ask? because we are just one compared to everything else the world the universe we are just a spec in time to be born to reproduce to die to be forgotten is there room for a life for emotions for love i hope so <3 sarah p.s sorry about this i just all came out in one go its random and doesnt make sense i had a million thoughts at once and i just tried to get it all down p.s.s i realised that every time i write i always feel so drained so exhausted it just takes alot to get my thoughts out i just dont notice at the time but afterwards i can barely type how weird