i see these words on the paper they mean nothing its not solid its not you none of it makes sense i find it hard to understand what are you trying to tell me? that you have changed that you are different for the better? i still dont understand i try i try so hard but nothing can be taken seriously after all this time you try and convince me you try and tell me that everything will be fine that you wont do it to yourself again that these regret you have wont effect the future wont change it yet its not the same i miss how it use to be before things went from good to bad to worse to... i dont even want to go there the memories are filled with pain the furture full of hurt you reaslie now after all this time of convincing of denial that you havent changed that you arent different just that you have been lying all this time to yourself to the people around you you thought you were fine that you were coping but in length of a second everything you know is gone you have lost it all teared in to pieces the food you eat tastes stale the air you breath smells old the water you use feels thick nothing is as it use to be and you are envious of those who are happy around you who seem to be able to go on with life without breaking down in tears you tried being yourself but the aches were unbearable you tried being something different it just got worse so now you are lost amongst this blur of something called a life not knowing which is left or right forgetting how to breathe its as if you are in a dream unable to determine what is real what is fake this life was not how it use to be not full of happy memories and bicycle rides in the park only you are to blame because you forced it upon yourself dont point the finger it wont solve any problems only create them just let me slip away just help me forget love sarah