Funny... listening to INXS, but lookign for the new MEW song... cool band. I need to come more often, I feel I'm not dedicating enough time to one of my favorite hobbies... to write. Discipline! Darn it! Maybe tomorrow? =)

I'm going to Cancun in August!!! Time to see the family and visit some friends, but the most important part is to see my son. It has been alsmot a year since I left and I just can not wait to see him again. It is going to be soooooooo cool. I know I'm not the best Dad and I'm far from perfect, but I love my son above anything and all I want is to see him happy. Man... it is really hard to be away from him. I called him the other day and he sang me this song about Fathers and I started to cry... Well, it's time to go and start snoring... the more I sleep the faster the time goes by and I get to see him. Peace everyone. I mean it, damn it! =)

It's been a looong time... but I'm back. Finally after all this time we've got Internet at home. What a pain to have to use Kinko's, the office, my inlaws computer... But life is as good as it can be. In this moment. Now. Can it be better or worse tomorrow? I don't know and frankly, I don't care. Today is a good day. Right now. =)

Just to keep this updated, cuz I intend to write some more. I'm in the States now. I married the woman I love. I got to meet a very dear friend. I meet my wife's family in CA. Lot's of things have happened in the past months, and I need to make time to write since it is one of the things that I love above all. Pretty much that's it. Happy everything to everyone out there. =)

My company is opening new offices... they are extremely cool. Brand new spaces to work on. Really nice. All I want is to move to be with my baby. The hell with the offices and the world for that matter... I wanna go!!!! Peace. =)

It's funny how many comments I've got just by posting the Barto showing his butt... the thing is that I don't get as much response when I try to write serious stuff... my literary self is disappointed.. *sigh* lol... I guess that's the way it is. I just went to see "A day without mexicans". Hilarious. I mean, being mexican and all, the movie just cracked me up. Even more funny, I'm moving to California sometime soon, so I was rotflol...=) At some point I'm sick of the illegal/racial/parental stuff. Huge gaps here and there, no one seems to get along, and there's good and bad people in every story. Why can't we all get along? Como decia mi sobrinita Junuen cuando tenia 3 años: Cadambas! Peace. =)

Man I get stucked in stuff. What did I wanted to say? Oh yeah. I forgot. Dammit! Update... Bart rules... he's old I know.. but he still rules... =)

I just ran into a website about a PSone game "The legend of dragoon". Cool stuff. I got stucked in the game for months and months. I liked the Tomb Raider series... I got along with Soul Reaver... I even played FFVIII, but this one really kept me going for hours. The dragoon world is so cool. After this absolutely senseless comment, I have to go home. Oh, it was my b-day yesterday the 17th. Happy joy while I slept trough the day. =) Peace. EDIT: I'm 33 years old going on 19. FUCK YEAH!!!

I took a trip to Chihuahua and back... I want to add stuff but I'm ... pooped? I guess the correct way is EXTREMELY TIRED and I think I got some sort of flu. gotta come back and update. Peace. UPDATE: Funny how things happen... I just got back from there and now I gotta come back. Money, money, money... =)

"Vow" I can't use what I can't abuse And I can't stop when it comes to you You burned me out but I'm back at your door Like Joan of Arc coming back for more I nearly died I nearly died I nearly died I came to cut you up I came to knock you down I came around to tear your little world apart I cam to shut you up I came to drag you down I came around to tear your little world apart And break your soul apart You burn and burn to get under my skin You've gone too far now I won't give in You crucified me but I'm back in your bed Like Jesus Christ coming from the dead I nearly died I nearly died I nearly died I came to knock you up I came to cut you down I came around to tear your little world apart I came to rip you up I came to shut you down I came around to tear your little world apart And break your soul apart I nearly died I nearly died I nearly died I came to cut you up I came to knock you down I came around to tear your little world apart I came to shut you up I came to suck you down I came around to tear your little world apart Tear your little world apart Tear your little world apart And break your soul apart I can't stop when it comes to you I can't stop when it comes to you When it comes to you When it comes to you.

Esto es algo que escribi hace tiempo ya. Esta en español y no lo pienso traducir. Asi como esta es lo que quiero decir exactamente... Si no hablas español... sorry... lol... SOY. "soy como la nube negra que anuncia la tormenta, soy como el huracan que arrasa con todo. soy el ave de mal agüero, el principio del fin... eso soy..." A veces me da por escribir cosas que no entiendo... aunque esto suene estupido. No las entiendo cuando las estoy escribiendo, porque salen de dentro de mi, no las puedo parar. Despues reviso lo que he escrito y ahi esta, claro como agua. Todo tiene sentido. Supongo que escribo de acuerdo a mi estado de animo (como la mayoria de nosotros hacemos) pero lo que me gusta de lo que hago es que esas ocasiones son especiales, porque no pongo mucha atencion en lo que escribo. Simplemente sale y ya. Por eso escribo. Amo esto. Poder poner en papel lo que siento me hace feliz. Supongo que no todos entenderan lo que quiero decir, (aunque realmente no soy tan complicado) pero en cierto modo eso no es tan importante. No escribo para darle gusto a nadie, excepto a mi. Y aun cuando ni a mi me guste lo que resulta, estoy satisfecho. Soy. =)

Here is another quote/thought I got from... (where did I get these?) mostly tv shows I guess. Man, I really need to start reading some more paper books. Veamos. "We fill the silence with our own insecurities" This is one of those U-truths. How many times I worried about all and nothing, just to discover that nothing happened or that the issue solved itself without any action from me? But I think it is very interesting how people make choices not having all the facts in hand... or worse, while they are in rage. That's probably the worst mistake (and I know about those). I think world could be a better place if instead of bitching about stuff and sitting around doing nothing, we try to change things we don't like. But I guess for some people it works better to just sit and wait. I can't do that. I need to learn more about patience tough... lol... Anyway, I forgot what I wanted to say and started to bitch... lol... gotta go now. I want to bring some stuff I have at home but I'm moving so it's caotic there. I think I have something somewhere around... I'll be back soon . Peace.

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list: The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up. Their lifetime has always included AIDS. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic. The CD was introduced the year they were born. They have always had an answering machine. They have always had cable. They cannot fathom not having a remote control. Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are. They don't know who Mork was or where he was from. They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane". They do not care who shot J R. and have no idea who J. R. even is. McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers. They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter. Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type, that's for those of you who have trouble reading.

That's right... I just forgot what the heck I was writing about on my last entry... lol... that's what happens when your boss overworks you. Oh well. Here's what I had on mind. "NADA ES PARA TANTO" Is something like... Nothing really matters that much. When you look at it with a different perspective, it could be another one of those Universal truths. (I'm gonna call them U-truths, in the spirit of the well known american hobby of shortening everything). I just saw "The day after tomorrow". The special effects are really cool. The actors are... actors. The story is one of those that can make you think. If you haven't seen it I won't spoil the fun, but the message came clear. In the end, none of our stupid little fights really matters. We all have our fixations, we have our issues. None of those things are gonna be helpful when it's about the real stuff in life. Death in the family, a beloved person going under surgery, are some of the things that come to my mind now... Some of us we have it really easy. But we refuse to see it like that. We want to complain and bitch about our parents, about our life, and most of the time we don't stop to think and understand that most of the shit that happens to us is our own fault. It's easier to blame the rest of the world for it. - Oh my God I'm pregnant!!! (Keep your panties on sweetie...) - My parents don't understand me! (Have you ever tried to understand them?) - He / she is an asshole! (WALK AWAY DAMMIT!) No, I'm not a bitter old guy. I have to say I'm one of those few lucky bastards, lucky enough to have found my better half when I was 29 yrs old. Some people spend their entire life looking for it and get married and have kids and never EVER find their match. I went trough the same shit you did, I made the same if not worse mistakes you did. The difference is that I refuse to stay down. Every time I fall I want to stand up and keep going. I'm worth it. She's worth it. And I can go on and on... But I'm tired now. Peace out there. =)

Listening to some cool melancholic tunes... It's is very hard to let go and forgive. That's one of the perks of not being perfect. It's so freakin´ hard to forgive and forget!!! I know I don't expect myself to do that all the time. But there's gotta be a place where I can be comfortable with myself and at the same time, able to say I'm in peace because I'm not holding a stupid thing against no one. Today I told one of my coworkers how I really felt about him and his life, which is I just don't give a flying fuck! For some reasons too long to explain I came to the conclusion that I'm tired of dealing with his crap and I just decided to stop taking any shit from him. So, I went ahead and told him. Sometimes the best policy is to be honest and straight. So far so good. But sometimes I just wish I wasn't too harsh (or sarcastic?). Anyway, it's done. When it comes to my mom... that's a different story. I am gonna need some therapy sessions... lol... I have to go home and feed colores. I love me more than I thought, and I'm happy I'm able to tell people to stop bugging the hell out of me! Yay for me! =) Peace.

There used to be this show on FOX... Keen Eddie. If you know the name then you know what I'm talking about. I heard this on one of the shows. "We fill the silence with our own insecurities". Maybe it's a quote from someone famous, but whoever said that was my hero for that week. (aqui es donde pienso que me gustaria haber leido mas cuando estaba en la escuela). lol... Anyway, I'm tired and then I get some rest but when I wake up I still feel tired. Sometimes I want to die for a week and just let my body relax... and then wake up. I rented "Kill Bill Vol 1". Uma Thurman is the sexiest blond thing with a Katana in her hands. Plus those 5,6,7, & 8 Japanese girls are the bomb! I'm blueeueue doobe doobe doobe do!!!

Sometimes... just some nights... right before I fall asleep... I feel a HUGE gap in my tummy... and I miss you right there baby. Then I dream of whatever, sometimes you, some other times just dreming of all and nothing, but when I wake up, the very first thing I do is reach for you, and then my mind goes to you. The truth is, there's nothing like the feeling of your body next to mine, and the touch of your hands. I'm missing you baby. It hurts. Te amo. J.

I just found some of my old writings while cleaning the room. I'm gonna post them here. Some are in spanish so I need some time to translate them. Actually, that's a good project to keep me busy for a while. I'll post those in both languages. And the letter to my mom... coño. I want to fix it in a way I don't have to follow up with it... lol... Anyway, all the problems I am involved into are the results of my own actions so I have to get out of them by my own means. Let's do it. Let's make things happen. Time for a life update. =)

Soooo... The other day I went and bought The lion king 3, and me and my son sat and watched it like.. so far... like... 5 times... record breaker. My record was with THE MATRIX with 4 times, then UNDERWORLD 3 times... so Hakuna Matata. Life is good every now and then. I miss you baby. This short visit just makes me miss you more. Painful as it is, I know it's necessary sweetie. Being apart is not fun at all. No matter what I do or say, in the end I can't fool myself, so... Hakuna Matata. Night night.

Man... I just noticed... I'm not growing up as fast as I'm getting old. I know it. Which makes me wonder if it's a bad or good thing. I don't want to be left behind by my baby, and I know and I feel she's so much more mature than me in so many ways... I need to catch up. I know I can't be perfect, but I want to be better to make her feel I'm worth it. I just hope this lifetime is enough, please, please, please...