OK well last nite i talked to matt on the phone and i am just not haveing a good day so i started talking to him about it and like i started to go deeper and like he asked me why i felt like all this that maybe he could help and i told him that even if i told him he couldnt change it and all this well i hate talking to guys like that cuz they never seem to want to talk to me ever again afterwards. I am kinda scared. I hope he will still talk to me. i think i actually found a guy that will listen to me and not run away omg that would be soooo nice. i wonder how long this will last do u ever feel like your just waiting for it all to end even tho thats not what you want to happen? but i feel like sometimes i am jus doing it all for attention and i think that everyone knows that , thats why they jus ignore my feelings i guess i dont blame them tho cuz if they dont say anything maybe itll go away. sometimes i feel like i am lying to myself and yea im babbling im gonna go now.