ok so last nite me and my sister had a humoungous fight i mean big we were screaming at the top of our lungs and i felt like i jus needed to get away she was yelling at me for stuff about chris(her husband) stuff that was somehow my fault and whatever i wanted to run away so bad run anywhere ,,as long as it was away from this shithole and away from everything i know i probly wouldve went to x-tinas first and then to chans then possibly got ahold of matt who wouldve talked to me about it(i hope) aND CONVINCED ME IT WASNT A GOOD IDEA.sorry about the caps. i cryed more last nite than i think i have in my entire life i felt like i couldnt cry another tear i felt...all dried up. i hate crying. it sucks..hopefully life will get better once skewl is out and i am away from everyone and i can go out with matt aND JUS HAVE FUN I WANNA STAY AT THE LAKE damn caps button! i wanna lay down at night wrapped in his arms and not wake up till its never dark again. i am a loser. matt says im to hard on myself. i think maybe i am too but i guess it makes me feel better wehn people say im pretty i mean come on it makes everyone feel better but i like to hear it i guess .. does that make me a stupid lil bitch?? i dont know. i mena i know i am not horribly fat but i am not as small in the ass area as i would like to be..lol and it bothers me wen people say i am like superskinny because im not! and also i think that if i was blonde and beautiful it would jud make me happier somehow i dont know i think i need a therapist...dont know what else to say..