Im hurting so much right now. I just feel horrible. I dont get to see/talk to Zach very much anymore. And then i got heather and kenny being all happy and lovey dovey right in front of me and it dont feel that great. He dont care for me anymore. He isnt heat broken any more. He has moved on to a better person. He dont need me anymore. Then i got every one in my freakin house fussing at each other and i just want to go crazy and have an ellenboro massicre. My best friend is getting ready for Prom tonight so i cant call her and talk to her about how im feeling. I just have to once again and always keep it to my self. Because no one around me is as understanding as Zach is and i cant even talk to him right now. I just dont know what to do with my self. Im just hurting soo much right now and all i want is to be held and be told that im loved. I want to cry, and let it all out. but i can because my dad will critisize me and give me a lecture. He never tells me "oh it will be alright just let it all out" but no he has to make it worse then it already is. He never supports me. And then my step mom, she is always complaining about something even if it is just a little crum on the floor. Then there is my sister. She always has to have the last word and she is always right. Every one else dont know shit compared to her knowlege and she gets F's and D's on her report cards. I mean im not saying that im the brightest crayon in the box just cuz i get A's and B's on my report card. I agree im stupid and dont know what i am doing at times but i figure it out and fix it. I just AHHH i dont know what to do. Im getting to the point where i want to run away and never come back. I want to live with my mom. I WANT A DOG, at least they will never turn their back on me, will never get mad at me, wont hate me, will always love me and be my best friend. SOmething that can keep me warm at night. And something that i can talk to and they will never tell my secrets. Im trying so hard to think of something that will change my mind, to stay here on earth. What is the meaning of life? so that we can constantly be heart broken, be disowned by family, be mentally abused, and be unhappy? that doesnt sound like it is worth it. I just really dont know what to do....