So, I could write this in a diary so no one could possibly read it. but it feels good to know that there is a possibility that I dont have to be the only person who reads it. Weird, right?

I want to be honest with myself. And blunt. Get to the root of things. Or try to at least.

I am extremely narcissistic. I like to look at myself. I LOVE to look at myself. At least while I look like this. I know/hope that I grow out of it or it turns into pure confidence. But for now, I don't mind that I am so into myself. I'm realizing that I am attractive and that confidence also goes a long way. People might have a problem with that but I really don't mind because it's just a phase. Or am I just making excuses? Who knows.

I am a jealous person. When it comes to friends and boyfriends and even family's attention sometimes, I get really jealous. I let my mind wander too far in the wrong directions sometimes and I end up getting depressed for no reason but that I make up stuff in my mind about situations that aren't happening.

I have developed a phobia of earthquakes. If I feel some kind of vibration I think there's an earthquake and I start feeling dizzy and seeing things as if they are moving or something. My adrenaline rushes and I can feel pressure in my head: like a panic attack. I need control and that is when I get triggered to have an attack. But I am working on it and I've been good about that for over a year so I'm doing good.

I am an out of sight out of mind type of person. I'm sure everyone is but lately I've been really like that. I get involved with so many extracurricular things that I get stressed out and don't want to do anything anymore. But when I am in the moment with whatever I am working on, then I am totally having fun. It's weird. I think I need to organize myself better. Just gotta be more productive and turn off my laptop, haha.

Well, thanks for listening to me sort my thoughts even though no one comes to my page, I feel like I should thank the universe in general. Life is crazy. Who would have thought? I love it.

Things I am currently working on:

College

Work

Mural Project

2 Acting Classes

Acting/Modeling in general

Starting my own club at college

Organizing/doing a show with my acting class

Art on the side for fun

Having a boyfriend

chores

etc.

Doesn't seem so intimidating now that I can look back and read the list. :)

F.I.

V

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