It been sometime since I have actually wrote about something and not just put song lyrics up. So my life has done a complete 360 and this week was a blast to from the past. First off I ran into a friend from high school and we decided to hang out again, man have I missed her. She is basically my twin, I don't know why we stop starting but I suppose high school does that to you. Then I got a text message from a number I didn't know and the person messed around with me for a while until it drove me crazy. It was a my ex- boyfriend, Ricky. Now Ricky and I didn't end on horrible terms.. not the greatest of terms but we evenually got over it. Ricky was my " first love" I guess you could say.. I mean I don't know what that makes Greg (my true love? second love?) Greg and I had a more serious relationship (he was my first.. everything basically) and we dated way longer. But I've always had feelings for Ricky. He clearly had feelings for me but you learn to live without them and move on which is what I did. I mean we dated in middle school and I waited around for like year and half for him, of coure he finally came back when I was with Gregory (great job on the timing, right?). Ricky and I have been hanging out lately and the feelings are still there but I'm still in love with Greg. So what should I do? I don't want to wait around for Greg to come to his senses but I don't want to rush things with Ricky because I don't think that I'm ready for that. I know that I'm not ready for the whole love thing again.. Frankly, I'm quite bitter towards it at the moment. And lastly I'm scared. I never thought I would find love after Ricky.. and I did. Now I feel like I'm not gonna find love after Greg and then theres Ricky. I don't know if it is a sign that I should get over Greg by getting my second chance with Ricky or if its a test to prove that I'm not Greg like I like to think I am. My friend made a really good point when I was saying that it was sign from the heavens. She said " If Ricky hadn't of texted you, do you think you would of thought about him?". The answer is "no". I have thought about him from time to time but when Greg and I broke up my first thought wasn't " Hey, now its my chance to be with Ricky again". Really what does it all mean? The more I'm with Ricky the more I just think about Greg.