ewww!!!!!!! it's blue and it won;t go away!! i hate blue!!!!!!!! i'm gonna start another diary because the blue won't go away. i'll tell you guys what it is later. ::UPDATE:: it's doing it to other people too apparently. but anyway, my new screenname is "sharingan". and yes, it's from Naruto. as in "Sharingan Kakashi". tootaloo.

hey. the site is finally unblocked from my comp. i'm excited.

I need help. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. She has no idea the loneliness I’ve been feeling lately. She yells at me for something that I myself hadn’t figured out until it was too late; complaining yet again about me not cleaning up after myself. When in all reality, I clean up after not only myself, everyone else as well. I rarely get credit where credit is due, and that should be the issue. I wish I knew what is going on in her head when she does this to me. Does she enjoy it? Yes, I realize that my cat relieved himself on the dining room floor. But by the time I figured it out, it was too late. Sue me. This is not my fault. Yes, it was a mistake, but does she honestly expect me to know the future? I don’t know when this shit’s going to happen. And I swear to god, if she goes to Nick’s tonight, that’ll be the end. “Oh, I was in a good mood until I can home to find that my house smells like cat piss!!” I think I’m going to have to give my kitten away. I hope that makes her happy. Finally. I swear. If that doesn’t work, I’ll probably move in with someone else. *sigh* Ms. Never Happy. Well not with me, at least. Now if she’s with Nick, it’s a whole other story. Ugh I hate that! Whenever she gets a new boyfriend, he is her GOD. He can do no wrong. He’s always funny, romantic, smart, and FOREIGN. Jesus! Carl was the only real American boyfriend she’s had since my father. Maybe that’s what’s wrong. You know, when you’re a little kid, your teachers always tell you to talk to an adult if you have a problem. And now that I think about it, I have virtually no one. I can’t talk to a guidance counselor because they can never keep anything confidential, I can’t talk to my own mother of coarse because my problems always have to deal with her anyway and she always finds someway to turn the tables on me to make me think I’m the scum of the earth. I can’t talk to Nana because she will tell everyone. I can’t talk to Daddy because he doesn’t even know me. And that’s almost… sad. So in conclusion, the only people I could talk to right now are Cera, Byron, and possibly Chewy. The only reason I say possibly about her is because I don’t know if her and mom are conversing amongst each other about what I say. Call me paranoid, but it could happen. But anyway, where could I move to? I might just have to go to Nana’s. Then I could try to convince Timmy not to tell Nana everything I say. But then how would I get to school everyday? Maybe Mrs. Matthews still runs by there. I’ll have to check that out. I think I actually have something worked out here. And you know if Chewy moves out, what the fuck would she do then? No more late-night visits. No more not getting home until 2:30 am after drinking vodka at Nick’s. No more fun. Period. And wouldn’t you know it; she’s upstairs right now laughing and carrying on with Nick on the phone. Now I’ll be willing to bet if I went upstairs and sat beside her, she’d either move somewhere else, or she’d look at me like I’m a nauseating fungus. *sigh* Let me stop.

hahaha... i love this song. "peacock skeleton with crooked fingers"-Blood Brothers. do yourself a favor and listen to it sometime. If the sea shakes like an empty maraca I know [x4] and she falls in love with the sounds of ships sinking? I know [x4] Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If the heavens part and nobody, nowhere, nothing, every apartment is vacant, every home for rent? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just want to know what your feathers are made out of. Is it bruises or roses or cradles or coffins? (It's all those!) Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If your friends are all cripple, all wither, all wilt, I know [x4] and you smile at their pain on your angel bone stilts. I know [x4] Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If the brick you throw puts a bullet in your skull and a police boot lands atop your gaping jaw? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just wanna know what the babies mouth is full of. Is it flies or cries or straw? Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? Which peacock's police? Which peacock is thief? If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking Who's cashing out your bad luck? If wedding bells sound like death knells baby is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom? If tuxedos slither off corpses and copulate wild on wedding cake and the priest starts snapping photos? There's a peacock on your shoulder pole dancing around your neck while reciting the Book of Revelation. So who do you love? Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. So who do you love? Who do you trust? Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. If the forests turn to static and the gnarled branches, too? I know [x4] Your body starts to fall into a concrete tutu? I know [x4] which peacock is beast? which peacock is priest? If you strike for better wages at the cola factory and they drink champagne as they kick in your teeth? Hey Peacock? What's that? I just wanna know what his blood tasted like. Was it like sugar or vinegar or whiskey or dirt? (It's all those!) Which peacock is beast? Which peacock is priest? If machine guns come knock, knock, knocking Who's cashing out your bad luck? If wedding bells sound like death knells baby is a wealthy groom worth all this gloom? If tuxedos slither off corpses and copulate wild on wedding cake and the priest starts snapping photos? There's a peacock on your shoulder pole dancing around your neck while reciting the Book of Revelation. Things are never what they seem, the peacocks static melodies. So who do you love? Who do you trust when your friends take a match to your front lawn? A panicked face makes the peacock proud. So who do you love? Who do you trust? Who do you kill when your senator drags out your first born? A panicked face makes the peacock proud.

my cat's nickname is 'Faces' & my dog's nickname is now: fuckanut have a good thorough laugh this holiday season. i know i did.

i dont believe it. the school that i unfortunately attend has begun to restrict webpages not only on their own airport, but on my computer itself. no matter what type of internet i use on this laptop, my favorite site will be blocked from my longing access. i wrote a letter to the administrators about the situation and i will make sure to give it to them tomorrow morning. and also, here's the fucked up part. on these computers, if one were to type in the name "Satan" in Google, it would be restricted. and if one were to type in the name "Jesus" in Google, it would be completely accessable. is that not utterly grotesque and abserd?

updating finally. apologies for those who care. but anyway, happy late thanxgiving. i've missed you all sorely. ta-ta Ophelia

we named him Goliath. because he's very small. XD but anyway. tragic news: sitdiary is blocked at school now. *tear* eh, oh well. thank you for the help, KatrinaxCore. I'll post some pictures of my puppy and my kitten as soon as i get around to it. ;] much love Ophelia

i got a puppy. he's a yorkie. we haven't figured out a name for him yet. we're thinking about Leonardo or Rembrandt. i would post some pictures of him, but i really don't know how. to: anyone who cares from: ophelia please assist i would really appreciate it. thank you.

http://www.yeeguy.com/freefall/ if you hate Bush, it's hilarious.

ms. agee tried to kill us this morning in pe class. i'm dying as we speak.

i'm so not excited right now. even though i will be later on. it's Katie's birthday today and we're going to the movies after school. it's depressing that Cera can't come with us, but i'm still going to have a good time. we're going to see saw II (even though i haven't seen the first one... but it's all good). i just hope i'll be able to sleep tonight. I love you, Cera. and i'll miss you sorely.

what happened to all the old-fashioned gentlemen? no one has good values anymore and it's so hard to build a quality relationship with anyone "modern". *sigh* life is pointless. ... am i getting addicted to these depression pills?

for the past few mornings i've been throwing up but not this morning! woot! but anyway, i've almost finished Cera's birthday gift (*yes,i made it*). now i just have to put on the details. which reminds me...

last saturday was homecoming and it wasn't as great as i expected it to be. although, i did see a long lost friend of mine. that's was exciting. and Cera, you looked ravishing. but other than that, it almost sucked... But oh well. there will be other times.

to anyone who cares: can you find a valid solution to my riddle?

You scored as Red Gown. Red Gown93%White Gown80%Green Gown73%Yellow Gown53%Aqua Gown40%Pink Gown33%Which BEAUTIFUL Prom dress is right for you? *with pics*created with QuizFarm.com THAT'S THE DRESS I'VE ALWAYS WANTED

i didn't come to school friday because i took a vacation day. i went to the jazz lounge on saturday and saw Richard's band. that was beast. i had a great time saturday. and for once, my horoscope was right. i upgraded to a whole 20 mL on my chill pills. do you think that's enough??? not for me. nothing in this world can help me now. it's gone too far. i've had too much. Byron really pissed me off last night. He can be so goddamn annoying and if i say something to him, he leaves and goes back to his house. he can be such a brat when he's not an asshole. ugh. blah blah blah blah X10

i was expecting better grades on my interim... german- F health/pe- B math- B 20th century- B creative fashion- B science- C english- B

there's a love present that i've never felt before and when i look at her, my heart skips a beat and i can hardly speak. She's the reason i live and breath and it's so hard to keep quiet my feelings for her. i feel so inferior to her. like i need to die at her feet. when i look at her, the darkness fades and i'm safe again. i love you, Cera. and i'll never get to tell you how i feel.