While it's still fresh in my mind: I enjoyed your company and it was even somewhat normal, I mean I was talking, and you were talking and for once it didn't seem like either one of us was holding back but I kept on forgetting that you were waiting and it was so obvious because I could tell right off the bat so I shouldn't even be surprised, hurt, or angry that it was all gone in about 2 seconds and you didn't even bother to say goodbye because you were always gone and I am the most dramatic person on earth but please have pity on me anyway and I know you want to do good things here I know you are truly a good person I think you'd like to say you're all those things and more and that you really care about what really matters and that materialism is a drag and those who subscribe to it are somewhat jaded that they have it all wrong and the way to live is to just be but look at your fucking self: with your surf trips, designer clothes, electronic devices parent's pay off your apartment, you are unemployed studying abroad, I really could go on and on.. If material possessions and those who depend so much on them disgust you then you really need to own up to yourself and at least admit that it isn't easy living without said things and get off your fucking high horse I'm sick of self-righteous people that throw around and ideals and never put them into action I always give people the benefit of the doubt, but this time I'm not even going to feel hurt because I never expected anything from you. 2007 has started and has been fair fair enough to write 2 sentences about but I will expand: I have been far too busy either working or sleeping to have a life yet I manage to get out of the house everyday I spend money like a bitch on things that I'll get sick of in a month and I know this I try to keep up an image that I am truly happy and the sick part is that I am Yes I am happy when I am home alone and have nothing to do Yes I am happy when the only responsibility I have is to myself yes I am happy when I stay in pajamas all day and laze around Yes I am happy, truly happy with myself and who I am does that make me lame to others? Probably, but I only have the luxury of doing any of those things 5% of the time. don't give up on me.