i need to rethink some things. and get some shit in order. im falling in love with paula. its so fast. but i have NEVER EVER been so sure of any other girl i have ever dated before. i dont want to be with anyone else. ever. its weird. its like in moveis when pathetic dudes call their moms and are all like, "mom, i think i found the one!" thats me. except my mom doesnt like me anymore. me and my mom fight so fucking much. she says i hurt her everyday. and yet i dont know how that is possible cuz i see her may be 3 times a week. now. i love my mom. she means THE WORLD to me and yet she thinks i hate her now of something. but i dont. fuck i have too much clothes in the washer. its almost done too. paula is the only reason i get up in the morning these days. i cant wait to see her everyday. and i dont even get to see her everyday. makes me sick to think of the days i wont spend time with her. im so fucking hungry. i think its taco bell time. i love my fish. they are so cool. and getting SO big!!! :]]] ucsb. so i hate my classes. and my major. im so sick of fucking theories and shit like that. i would be an english major, but i dont like to read. i would just want to write. i though comm would be all about speeches and whatnot. but apparently not. apparently they hate me. and now i hate school even more than i did. i love being an athlete. it makes me feel so great everyday. except that is NOT working out right now. so, idk. fuck this. i want to just work, and buy a fucking boat, and live on that boat, and find a little lady that i love and who will love me for me, and then i want to have kids with her. and love those kids and not worry about money and not worry about school. its official. i love her. she cares so much about me. and just wants me around. and me to be happy. she made me the most wicked awesome bracelet the other day. i love it so much i could die. i want to share everything with this girl. shit i hope this post doesnt jynx it. im so tired. but i have to be up for a bit. and i have to read a 100 page book tonight. or i should anyway. itll get me ahead of the game as far as schoolwork is concerned. my coach said i am doing a good job at rowing and whatnot. i love being on the team. we practiced at the lake today and it was SICK. loved it. even though everyone on my boat was a tard and couldnt do anything to save their lives. oh well. taco bell time.